Get Out Alive
by WhatTheF-ckHaveYouDoneLately
Summary: AU. When war breaks out, Gabriel takes Castiel from Heaven to keep him safe. They have been relentlessly hunted ever since, and find unlikely allies and maybe something more when they meet the Winchester brothers. Destiel/Sabriel. Dedicated to Suzy.
1. Prologue, As He Faded Away

***This has been done forever, but ff is just now letting me post, sorry for the wait!*  
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**Author's Note:**

**Hi again to anyone that already knows me, and hello to any new readers as well! I had intended on not writing anymore SPN fics after my first one, May Angels Lead You In, but my wonderful friend Suzy gave me her plot bunnies and told me I better keep writing. This story is dedicated to her for the idea. Suz, you're one of the most amazing people I have had the pleasure to meet on this site! Anyways, there will be Gabriel/Cas brotherly love, and eventual Destiel/Sabriel slash, but nothing graphic! Song lyrics from beginning and end are from Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace.**

**This fan fiction is mostly pre-written because ff was down and I just kept writing, so roughly 12 chapters will be posted today. I pretty much know where the plot is going and have the next few chapters planned out to be written, but if anyone has any scene requests, feel free to let me know. It may take awhile to work them in, but I'll find somewhere, I promise. All chapters are from Gabriel's P.O.V. unless the header says it's from Dean's, Sam's, or Castiel's. The P.O.V. will change much more frequently later in the story.**

**Lights, cameras, action ;-)**

* * *

_"No time for goodbye he said, as he faded away_

_Don't put your life in someone's hands, they're bound to steal it away_

_Don't hide your mistakes 'cause they'll find you, burn you."_

Cries pierced the air as I made for Castiel. He was sound asleep, oblivious to his horrific surroundings. The war was even bloodier than expected. Scooping the sleeping angel up into my arms, I slunk back into the shadows, away from my fighting brethren. They didn't even seem to notice my absence. In spite of being one of Heaven's most fearsome weapons, the war was too hectic for them to be aware I was gone.

After many small battles, the War of Lucifer was finally taking place. It had been decided that he would be cast down to Hell for eternity, and it had resulted in an anarchy. His allies an his enemies were in a vicious war with each other. Many young angels like Castiel had already died simply by being caught in the crossfire. I wouldn't, _couldn't, _let that happen to my little brother.

Most of the happy memories I had involved Castiel. Probably because he was the sweetest, most precious angel I'd ever met. So innocent and untainted by the selfish and petty laws of Heaven. From the moment we'd met, I'd known he was different. There was something about him that told me he was special. More than the typical angels that didn't hesitate to conform to the will of others.

It had not taken long for me to love Castiel, nor did it take him long to love me. We became inseparable. Whenever he was confused or afraid, I was the one he came to. Whenever he couldn't sleep, I was the one he sought out. Though all angels were technically brothers and sisters, we were brothers in the truest sense of the term.

The tiny angel slept on without once waking as I fled for all it was worth. Never had I thought I would be on the verge of sacrificing everything I knew for one simple little creature, but like an angel had once told me: Without life, we can have no family, and without family, we can have no life. That same angel had died in the very battle I was saving my brother from having to endure.

My large, vibrant wings spread from my back as I carried little Castiel far, far away from the immense battlefield. I finally came to one of Heaven's gates. It led to Earth…it led to the only peaceful place I could think of. I had fervently hoped it wouldn't come to this, but alas, I had no other choice. This was my baby brother. I had to protect him.

"Hold on tight, little brother," I whispered quietly.

With those five simple words, I fell from Heaven. Not in the sense that I would no longer be an angel, but in the sense that would take me to Earth. I folded my enormous wings around Castiel as the wind surged around us, and I silently prayed that the landing wouldn't be as dreadful as I feared. Of all the angels in my Garrison, I'd always been the worst at landings, so this was bound to end badly.

A prickle of anxiety went through me when Castiel stirred in my arms. I used a tiny bit of my powers to keep him asleep, knowing he would be horribly frighetned if he awoke. He loved and trusted me, but falling at the speed of light, from Heaven nonetheless, would terrify him. I tightened my grip on him and repeated to myself that this was for the best.

Sickness rolled in my stomach, but I didn't regret my decision dropped to leave the only home I'd ever known. The air shifted around me as my body plunged further and further down. Castiel remained under my influence, blissfully unaware of what was happening. Perhaps he would one day resent me for taking him from Heaven, but right now my only intention was to keep him out of the massacre taking over what I had once referred to as Paradise.

And before I had time to realize what was happening…I found myself on Earth.

_"If you want to get out alive, run for your life_

_If I stay it won't be long 'til I'm burning on the inside_

_If I go, I can only hope that I make it to the other side."_


	2. Losing What I Never Found

***Lyrics are from Down by Jason Walker**

_"I don't know where I'm at, I'm standing at the back_

_And I'm tired of waiting_

_Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find_

_What I've been chasing."_

Finding vessels wasn't too hard once we got to Earth. I sought out a man named Eric, who came from a long line of vessels. He was somewhat short, had longish blond hair, and amber colored eyes. I found a child vessel for Castiel, a precious five year old with messy brown hair and sapphire blue eyes. There was no doubt the kid would be a looker when he got older.

When a very young angel goes into a similarly young vessel, they age and normally stop somewhere between mid twenties and mid thirties. He'd skip aging a few years here and there, probably about five years total. I've never been entirely sure how or why that works the way it does. My vessel, who was somewhere in his mid to late thirties, would stay just the same as he was now. The great thing about kids were that they didn't have to consent to having an angel in them.

I'd transported us many, many years into the future when we fell. The War of Lucifer was technically before the times of modern day luxuries, and I wanted to make living on Earth as easy as possible for Castiel, so we were somewhere in the 1970's. We'd have angels hunting our asses down, but with any luck we'd have a little time to adjust before needing to figure out how to handle that.

I got us one of the huge structures that the humans called "houses" and manifested some of the green paper they called "money" to pay for it. So far my first time on Earth was downright confusing. Oh and there were these noisy things that people called "cars." I hated them. They were too loud.

At the store, which sold food (something I saw people consuming, so I figured I would need some), a number of people cooed and fawned over Castiel. He stared at them blankly. I was the only one he spoke to for the most part. Like all angels, he was weary of humans. Thankfully though, he didn't seem to hate me for taking him from Heaven and was adjusting comparatively well to Earth.

I chose a random aisle to go up at the store, finding myself surrounded with something called "candy." It looked fantastic. Chocolate especially. I gathered tons of it up into my arms and grinned happily. Maybe Earth wouldn't be so bad after all. Even Castiel was eyeing the candy curiously, tilting his head to the side.

A man absently looked at the array of sweets, his black falling into his eyes. He noticed me holding Castiel's hand and smiled. It seemed like everyone smiled when they saw little Castiel. Then again, I could really blame them, my baby brother was adorable.

"He's precious," the man commented, walking over. "Is he yours?"

"Yep, this is my little Castiel," I said. I couldn't exactly tell him that I was an archangel and this was my angelic little brother.

"I've got quite the family myself. A wife, a son, and another one on the way." He said this with a love struck grin.

"Congratulations. Sounds like you've got your hands full."

Something about talking to a complete stranger was a little odd, but he was nice and seemed easy to talk to. Thankfully Castiel wasn't throwing the fit he did when he was around people he didn't like. When he laughingly asked if Castiel took after his mother, I simply said that he did, but we were separated and she saw Castiel on the weekends. I was quickly learning the art of lying.

"I'm John Winchester, by the way," he said, extending his hand.

I made quick work of coming up with a fake last name. I used the surname of Castiel's vessel. "Gabriel Novak. And this little fella is Castiel."

"Castiel and Gabriel? Wow, those are some interesting names."

I shrugged. "Mom and Dad were religious."

"Ah, I know the feeling," he laughed.

"Well it was nice talking to you John, I'll see you around."

"See you," he said, giving me a friendly nod before I left.

Once I bought the candy, I got out of eyesight and transported back to the large house I'd bought for us with my manifested money. We started sampling the chocolate, and though he found that he loved dark chocolate, I was a sucker for the milk chocolate with almonds. We diminished the entire chocolate supply in under an hour.

"I think I found my favorite part about this sorry little planet," I joked.

I stretched out on the velvety soft couch as he nodded his agreement and climbed on top of me. His tiny fingers played with the fabric of my shirt. I looked around the vast, massive house, wondering if I should've gotten something smaller. This place was enormous and the only people here were Castiel and I.

I picked up Castiel, who was falling asleep, and carried him up to his room. He refused to let go of my hand when I laid him down on the bed. He looked up at me pleadingly in a silent request for me to stay with him. He'd always found me and curled up with me to sleep when we were in Heaven; it looked like old habits died hard.

"I've been wearing the same clothes for three days, and I have no idea how to make them clean again. Let me get a shower and I'll be right back."

Castiel paused to consider before nodding and releasing my hand. I kissed his forehead and went into the adjoined bathroom. In the blink of an eye, I'd manifested clothes similar to the ones I was already wearing. I wasn't entirely sure what the purpose of a shower was, but I'd heard that humans took them regularly, so why not try it out?

Leaving my clothes in a heap on the floor, I adjusted the water and tentatively stepped under it. My longish blond hair was quickly matted to my head. Though I hadn't really had time until now, I absently studied my vessel. It felt strange being in a human body. I had a moderately good looking vessel, but it was still weird.

My body was small and lithe, not exactly muscled but slender and toned nonetheless. I ran my fingers through my hair to pull it out of my eyes. Not that I would ever admit it, but I was scared. Terrified. I was in this strange place, my baby brother depended on me, and I had no one but him and I that I could depend on. Homesickness washed over me and felt as solid as the hot water pelting my skin.

I leaned against the tiled wall and slid down it, feeling as naked inside as I was outside. Nothing felt right anymore. Angels would be coming after us; after all, they couldn't let one of their most powerful archangels disappear and not eventually try to find me. My worry did not lie with my own well being though, it lied with Castiel's.

Finally telling myself to suck it up and deal, I turned the water off. I was dry and dressed with a snap of my fingers. Part of me was afraid to look in the mirror. I was somewhat afraid of what, or rather who, would look back at me. Surely not Gabriel, the fearsome archangel. Perhaps what remained of him, crammed into a human body, but I was too much of a coward to accept that brutal truth.

I wandered out into Castiel's room to find him waiting for me patiently. He sat on the edge of the bed and didn't lay back down until I walked over. I slid in next to him and pulled the blankets around us, smiling when he sprawled out across my chest and fell asleep almost immediately.

I kissed the top of his head, and even though he couldn't hear me, I whispered, "It's going to be okay, Castiel. I'll protect you no matter what."

_"I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?_

_You never know why it's coming down, down, down_

_Oh I am going down, down, down_

_I can't find another way around_

_And I don't wanna hear the sound, of losing what I never found."_


	3. Hell Bent Heart Leave You Bitter

***Lyrics are from I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack**

_"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder_

_You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger_

_May you never take one single breath for granted_

_God forbid love ever leave you empty handed."  
_

I woke up hungry.

It was a strange sensation. My stomach growled quietly and I opened my eyes to look for Castiel. He wasn't in bed anymore. Worry had my stomach in knots as I sat bolt upright. My vessel's heart skipped a beat. Hunger, tiredness, and nausea had all come with the package when I took a human body. It sucked.

"Mornin' Gabriel!" cried a happy little voice.

I looked over at the door to see him come in holding a wooden tray. On it was what looked vaguely like breakfast and a vase holding a handpicked daisy. My heart melted right to the floor. He'd actually gone to the trouble to make me breakfast. It didn't look exactly edible, but that wasn't the point. _What did I ever do to deserve you, Castiel? _I mused.

"So, what did ya cook up for me, kiddo?" I asked, leaning back against the headboard.

He grinned, hopped up on the bed beside me and extended the tray. "I know you like chocolate, so I made you a chocolate sandwich!"

I looked down at the three half melted chocolate bars between two slices of bread. On the side was five pieces of severely burnt bacon. The brown and purple mush in the glass looked to be a peanut butter and jelly milkshake. I hadn't been on Earth long, but even I knew that this looked like a death trap. Castiel smiled at me, wriggling with excitement.

"Thanks Castiel, it looks great!" I said enthusiastically.

He blushed and gave me a shy smile, a hidden contentment glittering in his azure colored eyes.

Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I picked up the bacon and took a bite, almost chipping a tooth on it. Ow. He eagerly awaited my reaction, so I forced a smile and a thumbs up. His clear happiness at my approval was well worth suffering through the makeshift breakfast. When I finished everything on the tray (which was no easy task) he looked simply ecstatic. Yep, totally worth it even though I wanted to throw up.

"So, about some dessert?" I offered.

He bounced and nodded his agreement, so I manifested two large chocolate bars, handing him one and I quickly devoured the other. After his attempt at making me breakfast, chocolate had never tasted so good. It wasn't that I didn't love him for the effort, but neither of us could really get the hang of anything culinary unless manifesting candy counted.

"Are we going to see the nice man from the store again?" he asked.

"Well we don't really need to go back to the store since I can get whatever we need," I started, motioning to the manifested chocolate for emphasis, "But I guess we could pay him a visit sometime."

"I like Mister Winchester. He's nice."

"Yeah, he's not too bad for a mud monkey."

He cocked his head to the side confusedly, and I laughed at the lost puppy look he was sporting. "Never mind."

"When can we go see him?"

"Let's go ahead and go, I'm sure he won't mind," I said, quickly locating John with my powers.

Castiel hopped onto my back as I stood up from the bed. I smiled and transported us to John's front porch, knocking lightly on the door. A beautiful blond opened the door, her stomach enlarged visibly. Judging from what I'd learned about pregnant women, that little bugger should be popping out anytime now.

"Hi, I'm Gabriel. Castiel wanted to come visit John," I explained.

She laughed and tossed a lock of hair over her shoulder. "Nice to meet you Gabriel, I'm Mary, John's wife."

I shook her hand. "Pleasure's all mine. This little guy is Castiel."

"Hiya!" Castiel said, waving from where he was still latched onto my back.

"He is so adorable!" Mary gushed.

"Hey Gabriel, nice seeing you again. Please come inside," John said as he walked up behind Mary.

"Thanks."

I stepped over the threshold and looked around. Wow. They had some seriously nice digs. Mary offered me a seat, and I gave a grateful nod before sitting down on the couch and letting Castiel climb off my back. The Winchesters didn't seem at all bothered that we had just randomly dropped by.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Mary asked.

"Na, I'm fine, thanks."

"Me too," Castiel chimed. "But thank you anyways, ma'am."

John chuckled. "That is the most well mannered kid I've ever met."

"Yep, he's a little angel," I grinned, ruffling Castiel's hair.

"Yeah, wanna see my wings?"

I elbowed him sharply in the ribs when John and Mary happened to be glancing in the other direction. "Don't mind him, he thinks he has wings. You know how kids are."

"I think he's precious," Mary said.

"So, little man, what do your wings look like?" John joked, crouching down so he was eye level with Castiel.

"They're twice my height, can sometimes appear transparent, and were blessed by Ananel at my birth. I was born in the Ninth Garrison in the northern point of Heaven."

John raised an eyebrow. "Wow. That's quite a story you've got there."

"It's not a-"

I cut him off quickly. "Gotta love kids and their imaginations! He's a real dreamer, this one."

"Sounds like the polar opposite of my son Dean. He's four, he'll be five in a month, and he's one hell of realist for his age. He's at school right now, but maybe sometime you could meet him."

"I'd like that."

We were engaging in easy conversation when all Hell - or more appropriately, Heaven - broke loose. It was like the eerie calm you feel before a storm hits. All was peaceful, we were laughing, Mary was talking about how excited she was to be pregnant with Sam, and then it went terribly wrong.

Lights started flashing and doors flew open. My grace gave a heavy pull. I knew all too well what that meant. Angels. The other angels had found me a lot quicker that I'd counted on. I gathered Castiel into my arms so I could transport out of the room and lead the angels away from the Winchesters. John and Mary didn't need to be in the middle of this.

From the moment I saw the army of angels crash into the home, I knew one thing and one thing only for certain.

We were hunted…and we always would be.

_"Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter_

_When you come close to selling out, reconsider_

_Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance."_


	4. You Feel The Eyes Upon You

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**Author's Note:**

**Major fast forward in this chapter because I wanted to bring more characters into the picture :P This is an AU where Jo, Ellen and Ash are still alive, so if there are any characters you want brought back, tell me. Like I mentioned, I already have the first half of this fic written, but whoever they are will be here for at least one chapter if not more. The Roadhouse gang will make frequent if not brief appearances. Lyrics are from Turn The Page by Bob Seger.**

* * *

_"Here I am, on the road again_

_There I am, up on stage_

_There I go, playin' the star again_

_There I go, turn the page."_

_****25 Years Later****_

For thirty long years, we moved from town to town, killing whatever evil supernatural we happened to stumble across. Then we would leave and hightail it across the country before we were found. Two and a half decades. Twenty-five years. Nine thousand, one hundred and twenty-five days. That was how long we were on the run before we met the two men that would change our lives forever.

Before you learn of these two people, of the brothers that inadvertently became our most trusted confidants, I have to tell you our story.

We were extremely careful not to make the same mistake we had with John and Mary Winchester. No friends, no allies, no attachments. That was the rule. I couldn't put Castiel though what I'd put him through twenty-five years ago. We had left the Winchester home in hopes of luring the angels pursuing us away, but it hadn't done any good. Mary had barely escaped and John had been murdered.

At some point, we'd made our supernatural smiting a bit of a profession. Other people like us called us "hunters." It became a habit to go to towns with activity signifying a creature nearby, and we killed it. Killed it and moved on. Several of the people we'd saved had asked us to stay and assured us that we would be welcomed in the town, but we couldn't.

Transporting required using my grace (which was surprisingly still intact even though I hadn't been to Heaven in two and a half decades) so we used a car I'd hotwired. Unless it was to kill creatures, we never used our powers. Angels could sense our grace nearby when we used our abilities too much.

I may have given up the majority of my powers, but we didn't slum by any means. I'd recently hotwired us a bright red Ferrari California with a black convertible top. It was a beautiful car. Hotwiring that expensive of a car was no easy task, but somehow I managed it.

The most surprising of all wasn't that I was an archangel reduced to killing worthless creatures, or that I knew how to hotwire a car, or even that I'd been on the run for thirty years and didn't really mind all that much. It was that Castiel didn't resent me for it. Didn't blame me a bit for the hectic life we now lived.

He barely ever smiled or laughed, but he was still my baby brother. Sometimes he still made me breakfast, and his cooking skills hadn't improved in the slightest. I still choked it down to make him happy. Though he rarely smiled, I could always see the contentment sparkling in his eyes whenever I did something as simple as buy him something from a gift shop or toss him the car keys. I'd used a tiny bit of magic to manifest keys to the Ferrari since we both liked it so much.

Just as I expected, his vessel turned out to be pretty good looking when he got older. His vessel currently appeared thirty-five, soon to be thirty-six. Though technically he was only about thirty, just as I'd expected, his body had skipped a few years at some point along the way and had him looking roughly five years older than he actually was. I'd set his birthday as the day he inhabited his vessel; May twenty-seventh.

To look at us, you wouldn't know we were related. His looks contrasted vividly against my light brown eyes and golden colored hair. His eyes were a piercing bright blue, he had messy dark brown hair, a lithe build, and an ever present outfit that made him look like a tax accountant.

He wore black dress slacks, a white button down shirt, black dress shoes, a dark blue tie, and a tan trench coat. Several women's eyes raked over him appreciatively as we walked into an old bar we'd stumbled across. Bars were a hunter's best friend. We sat down at the bar and ordered a round of shots.

"I don't understand why you don't get yourself laid," I sighed. "So maybe we can't stay in a town for more than a day or so, but what's wrong with good old hit it and quit it?"

"If I give a part of myself to someone, I wish to do it wholly," he replied, deadpan as usual.

I snorted. "Stick in the mud."

He looked over at me and cocked his head to the side in confusion. Right, because _of course_ he wouldn't understand that saying. Even though we'd been on Earth for almost thirty years, he still didn't understand human sayings and mannerisms. He also never watched movies or television.

My reply to him was cut off by the bartender, who walked over with our shots and gave us both a polite smile before walking off again. Polite, but not flirtatious. Which was a shame because she was totally hot. Young, long blond hair, big brown eyes, and a tiny little waist. Definitely the kind of girl I would take home for a night.

Someone sat down next to me, and I glanced over to see a tall man with shaggy light brown hair and hazel eyes. Next to him was a slightly shorter man with cropped brown hair and green eyes. They were definitely brothers. And hunters, from the looks of how they cast subtle glances around the room before relaxing. Their body language had "hunters" written all over it.

"Hey boys. The usual?" asked the pretty blond bartender. Apparently they knew each other.

The green-eyed one nodded and gave her a flirty smile. She rolled her eyes good naturedly before leaving to go get whatever their "usual" was. I absently traced my finger around the rim of my glass and sighed. Though I was still an angel, my body could feel fatigue, and I was looking forward to crashing in a crappy motel for the night. Our Ferrari was flashy and awesome, but sadly I couldn't risk manifesting money anymore, so we got stuck in hellholes.

"You two look like you just got ran over by a semi," joked the taller brother with the hazel eyes.

"Fought a coven of vampires, actually."

He smiled knowingly. "Ah, hunters. I figured as much."

"Why is that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because every single person in this bar is a hunter. How'd you find it?"

"Castiel and me took care of the killer Twi-hards, and I wanted to take a break from driving, so I pulled off onto a little dirt road. Finding this little dump was actually a pleasant surprise."

"Watch how you talk about my bar, boy," a woman said as she came out from behind the bar.

I smirked. "Yes, ma'am."

"Ellen, this is…um, I don't think I got your name?" he said, looking over at me.

"They call me Gabriel."

"Ellen, this is Gabriel. Gabriel, this is Ellen. The bartender is her daughter Jo."

"Greetings," I said with a nod.

"Gabriel huh? Sounds like you came from a family of bible thumpers."

I snorted. "Understatement of the century, lady."

"I'm Sam, this is my brother Dean," the tall one, apparently Sam, introduced.

Meanwhile, Dean walked over and leaned against the counter next to Castiel, making conversation. I looked between them as they conversed and saw a small smile pulling at Castiel's lips. Dean said something under his breath and my brother actually _laughed_. It had been forever since he'd laughed. I again looked between them and saw the telltale signs of exactly what I'd figured would happen sooner or later.

All it had taken was five minutes of conversation, but after twenty-five years of not making friends, my baby bro had finally gotten attached to someone.

_"Well you walk into a restaurant, strung out from the road_

_And you feel the eyes upon you as you're shakin' off the cold."_


	5. My Life Has Been Such a Whirlwind

***Lyrics are from Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon, just because they worked and because I loved when Dean was singing this on SPN**

_"My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_

_I've been running 'round in circles in my mind."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Castiel. That's a, uh, interesting name," I said. Who the hell named their kid Castiel? "Sounds like what one of those feathery, spineless dicks would be named. Ever met an angel?"

A brief look of hurt crossed his features before disappearing. "I _am_ an angel. So is Gabriel."

"Oh. Well, um, okay. Sorry…I must sound like a complete ass."

He peered up at me from under long, black eyelashes. "It's alright. Most hunters that have encountered my kind have the same reaction. I am slightly humanized given that my brother and I have been absent from Heaven for many years."

I grinned. "You ditched Heaven?"

"When war broke out, my brother took brought me to Earth to protect me. We've been hunted ever since."

"The hunted hunters. I haven't seen that much irony since Busty Asian Beauties hired a Mexican chick."

He fixed me with a confused look, so I just laughed and shook my head. "Never mind. You don't get out much, do you?"

"I am not particularly familiar with human customs, if that is what you mean."

"So, Cas, tell me about yourself."

I didn't know why I felt compelled to make conversation with him, let alone give him a nickname, but Sam was listening to Gabriel talk about a bunch of boring mythology, so talking to the nerdy dude in the trench coat was pretty much my only option. Besides, his lack of understanding when it came to humans and his deadpan sense of humor was kind of amusing.

"I am an Angel of the Lord."

"Well I didn't think you were an Angel of the Led Zeppelin, chuckles. You've gotta have some sort of personality in there," I said, tapping the side of his head, "For example; I love pie, women, and my Impala. See? It's not too hard."

He paused and considered before answering. "My loyalties lie solely with my brother, I hunt and exterminate abominations, and our means of transportation is what Gabriel calls a Ferrari."

"Ferrari?" I repeated. Since when could hunters afford Italian sport cars?

He rose to his feet and motioned for me to follow him, and he must have telepathically told Gabriel he was leaving, because his brother mouthed "be careful" before returning to conversation with Sam. I followed the angel outside and was shocked I was getting along with him so well. Normally I absolutely _hated_ angels. This one, though, didn't seem too bad.

"This is our automobile," Cas said, motioning to a bright red Ferrari.

I whistled. "She is beautiful. How the hell did you afford something like this?"

"We didn't. Gabriel heatwired it."

"Dude, it's _hot_wired."

"Oh."

I laughed and led him over to where I'd parked the Impala, the setting sun casting a fading light on her. He studied the car with appreciation, and I immediately decided I couldn't hate anyone that obviously loved cars like he did, even if they were feathery dicks. It was pretty strange than an angel would have a thing with cars, but hey, I wasn't complaining.

"Nineteen sixty-seven?" he guessed.

"You sure know your stuff about cars," I commented. "How does an Angel of the Lord end up with a car fetish?"

"For several years, our car is the only thing that has remained constant. It's the only home we've ever known."

I smiled bitterly. "Yeah, I know how you feel."

"You are a unique human," he said, sitting on the hood of the Impala.

I sat next to him and glanced over in his direction. "What do you mean? I know you're not likely to meet many people as good looking as I am, but I can't help I was born this way."

He laughed quietly. "You remind me of someone I once knew. He was the only person besides Gabriel that I trusted."

"Why don't you trust anyone else?"

"I suppose only a few select people appear trustworthy to me. It has never made sense to befriend anyone, given that Gabriel and I cannot stay in one town longer than a small number of days."

I don't know why I was reluctant for the strange, mysterious angel to leave, but an idea occurred to me. Sammy and I could sure as hell use a couple of badass angels in our corner, and it sounded like said badass angels wouldn't mind having some allies. Not to mention I just genuinely liked Cas. I usually didn't make pals with other hunters, but he didn't seem to be as much of a douche bag as most other hunters were.

"Why don't you two come with me and Sam? We'll all four go on the same hunts, and get 'em done a hell of a lot faster that way. If the assholes hunting you two show up, we'll deal with it."

"Do you even have the faintest idea how to defend yourself against one of my kind?"

"I got no idea. But what I do have is a GED and a give 'em hell attitude and I'll figure it out."

He stared at me skeptically, but I could tell I had him. Hook, line, and sinker.

_"And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the wind on a cold, dark winter's night_

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might."_


	6. Younger Now Than We Were Before

***Lyrics from Never Say Never by The Fray**

_"Some things we don't talk about_

_Rather do without, and just hold the smile_

_Falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of_

_Together all the while."_

"No, no, no! Castiel, we can't! Look what happened last time we made friends with someone!" I argued vehemently.

"I trust him, Gabriel. My grace can feel his soul. Dean wouldn't betray us."

"I don't care if his soul has Christmas lights and mistletoe, dammit! People get hurt around us, Castiel. John Winchester died and his wife and unborn child nearly died too," I continued, calming down slightly.

We were standing outside after the bar had closed, and Dean and Sam (who'd stayed briefly to talk to Ellen and Jo) came out behind us. They clearly hadn't overheard our argument over the music playing inside, but they quickly noticed our tense positions. Dean, being the rebel without a cause that he was, came over and stepped between us.

"Alright, listen up. We get a say in this too, and Gabriel, you're outnumbered. Sam wants you and Cas to come with us, I want you and Cas to come with us, and Cas wants you and him to come with us. I know it's a pain in the ass to be a big brother because all you want is to keep your little brother safe, but sometimes you have to pull your head out of your ass and think about what they want, okay?"

"Who died and made you the voice of reason?" I retorted sarcastically.

"Gabriel, you are my brother, and I love you, but I am going with the Winchesters. All of my life you have taught me how important it is to think for myself and make my own decisions. You can't expect me to only think for myself when it's convenient for you."

I flinched but knew he was right. "I just don't want innocent people getting hurt."

"Sam and Dean obviously know how to take care of themselves. Regardless, we will protect them."

Dean opened his mouth, presumably to protest against needing to be protected, but Castiel silenced him. "Dean, if we come with you, then you have to accept that Gabriel and I will stop at nothing to protect you and your brother."

"Like you just said, we can take care of ourselves," Sam reasoned.

"You have no idea what you're up against. You may know of angels, but have you ever tried to smite one?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Dean apparently thinks whatever a 'GED and give them hell attitude' is can efficiently kill them," Castiel said.

"That's not what I meant, Cas," Dean sighed.

Ignoring their brief spout of bickering and the fact Dean had nicknamed my little brother, I sighed and asked, "If I agree to this, you two have to promise that when we say run, you run."

"No, when you say run, we stay and we fight to the death because you're hunters just like us and that's what family's for," Sam replied quickly, not missing a beat.

"You don't even know us!" I responded exasperatedly.

"Look, Dean practically raised me, so I understand how close you and Castiel are. You're the only family that the two of you have, and yeah, I know where you're coming from. My father died when my mom was pregnant with me. All I know is that it was something supernatural, and we started hunting to avenge his death. Our mom is still alive, though she never wanted us hunting, so we don't see her much. The point is this, Gabriel. You, me, Dean and Castiel are four of a kind."

"What is your mother's name?" Castiel asked blankly.

"Mary. Why?"

"No reason."

I looked between Sam and Dean and quickly realized why I found them familiar. They, Dean especially, were spitting images of their father. John Winchester. The man that had died because I'd been stupid enough to befriend him. Determination set in, and I straightened my spine, my hands clenching. I hadn't been able to save John, but the hell if I was letting his sons out of my sight. I would protect them if for no other reason than to keep them from ending up like their father.

"Fine. We'll come with you."

They all three seemed slightly surprised at my sudden willingness but of course didn't object. Castiel probably knew why I was so abruptly agreeing though; we shared a sense of attachment to John. We all looked at each other, a new feeling settling over us. It was foreign for all four hunters present. A feeling of instinctive allegiance, of family even. We felt a bone deep trust for each other that none of us understood.

Without a doubt, it was going to be one hell of a journey.

_"We're pulling apart and coming together again and again_

_We're growing apart, but we pull it together_

_Pull it together, together again."_


	7. Baby There's Something About You

**Author's Note:**

**Lyrics from Something About You by Five For Fighting. I know that it's totally OOC for Cas to be singing, but this is an AU where he was raised completely differently from how he was on the show, so blame my fantasies aboout Cas singing and my love of Bon Jovi for this chapter.**

**

* * *

**

_"Well I never thought I would win, I never thought much about that_

_I never stopped to begin thinking about the process."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

All of us wanted to get to know each other a little better, so we picked a hunt a few hundred miles away and swapped passengers. I was reluctant to let Sammy ride with someone else and Gabriel was the same by Cas, but given that we would be on the same road right behind each other, we finally agreed to it.

I pulled off the dirt road and onto the highway, Castiel silent in the passenger's side. He was clearly as used to riding with Gabriel as Sammy was used to riding with me. I turned on some music to ease the tension. Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" flowed from the speakers. Grinning, I started singing along at the top of my lungs.

"C'mon, join in," I said, slapping Cas on the arm.

"I do not know the lyrics."

"Just follow my lead. It's a bit of an initiation to riding shotgun in the Impala, you have to sing along with the driver."

He didn't realize I was kidding. "Oh, my apologies. I wasn't aware of the mandatory ritual."

"Well now you know," I smirked.

The chorus started, and he very quietly joined in. His voice was barely audible over the radio. Still, I could hear that it was husky and uneven but still somehow…beautiful. Maybe even hypnotic. Who knew the gruff angel could sing so well. I smiled and started singing even louder in a hint for him to do the same.

"'This is for ones who stood their ground, for Tommy and Gina who never backed down. Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake, luck ain't even lucky gotta make your own brakes,'" I sang, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel.

Just as I hoped, his voice got louder as we shot back into the chorus. "'It's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive, 'cause it's my life. It's my life," we sang, a reluctant grin forming on his lips, "My heart is like an open highway, like Frankie said I did it my way. I just wanna live while I'm alive. It's my life.'"

We ended up singing throughout the whole damn Bon Jovi tape. I felt more open and free than I had in years. I had no idea the deadpan little dude could be so much fun. I sounded like a sick dog compared to his voice, but who cared? We were having fun and that was all I really cared about.

"Cas, that whole deadpan humor thing's really misleading, you know?" I laughed as I switched to an AC/DC tape. We'd reached the end of the Bon Jovi one.

"What do you mean?"

I smiled. "You're a lot more fun that you look."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"A little of both."

He nodded and stared out the window. We fell into a comfortable lull in the conversation, both too worn out from singing along with Bon Jovi to rock out to AC/DC. An hour later he fell asleep, his body relaxing against the seat. I'd always thought Sammy would be the only person that felt right in the Impala, but I found myself growing fond of my baby's newest passenger.

I looked in the rearview mirror to see the top of the Ferrari down, and Sam and Gabriel seemed to be playfully bickering over something. They appeared to get along as well as me and Cas. The four of us barely knew each other, but had become fast friends. I reminded myself to ask Cas sometime why he'd gotten so freaked when I'd said Mary was mine and Sam's mom. Right now he was sleeping too well for me to want to wake him up.

In the silence, broken only by AC/DC's "Highway To Hell," the reality of just how fast all this had happened hit me. Since when did Sam and Dean Winchester, the ever cautious hunters, say "Hey, I don't know you and generally I hate angels, but wanna tag along anyways" to people they didn't even know? My own actions were starting to confuse me.

I didn't regret bringing Cas and Gabriel in the slightest, but I couldn't figure out what made me do it. The strange bone deep trust I felt for them was the only thing guiding me. I just wish I knew why I trusted them so much. Especially Cas. I felt close to him for reasons I didn't have any hope of understanding.

_Can we please skip the mental chick flick moment? _my mind bitched. Sure, mind. Sounds great. I threw one more glance in the sleeping angel's direction before returning my attention to the road. It seemed like a never ending stretch before me, as black and merciless as the deepest pits of Hell.

Now, my semi-peaceful little world had been disrupted by the angel sleeping soundly in the passenger's seat…and I didn't even know why I wanted him with me in the first place.

_"Baby there's something about that I can hold on to_

_I'm going to hold on to that_

_Baby there's something about that I can hold on to _

_I'm going to hold on to that."_


	8. You're The One I Want To Chase

***Lyrics from Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney**

"_I know that you are something special_

_To you I'd be always faithful_

_I want to be what you always needed _

_Then I hope you'll see the heart in me."_

"I can't believe we're in Transylvania county and not even hunting vampires," I commented as I got out of the Ferrari.

"I can't believe I've been crammed into that tiny ass car for that long and I'm still able to walk," Sam replied dryly.

I smirked. "Get over it, princess."

"Great, another Dean. Just what I always wanted."

"Want me to check the trunk and see if I can find a pacifier, Sammy?" Dean asked from where him and Castiel were leaning against the side of the Impala. They'd pulled into the motel we'd be staying at a few moments before Sam and I did.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Dean and I mulled over the patterns, and we believe we have an idea on where the Wendigo's lair is," Castiel said, ignoring their brief name calling.

"Get anything else done while you two were stuck in a car together for Dad-only-knows how long?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

Dean scoffed dismissively, but I didn't miss the way Castiel flushed and ducked his head. I could sense that nothing had happened between them, but judging from the way my brother was blushing, he just might have a thing for the older Winchester brother. It took every inch of restraint I had not to double over laughing. My little bro had finally found someone he liked, and they were not only male but presumably straight as a flagpole? He really knows how to pick 'em.

"Sam, Gabriel, you go interview the girl that survived the attack, me and Cas will get a couple of rooms and go check out the place where the Wendigo was last spotted," Dean said.

Not liking his immediate bossiness, I said, "Okay, listen buddy, I don't know who you think you are but let me go ahead and say that I don't appreciate being bossed around."

We immediately got into an argument about who was calling the shots, but Sam and Castiel stepped between us. I glared at them and tried to continue my argument, but Castiel shot me a silencing look. He was the only person that could get me to shut up when I was on a roll.

"Gabriel, this is insane. We have something to hunt and we have better things to do than skirmish amongst ourselves."

"Skirmish amongst ourselves? Dude, nobody says that anymore," Dean laughed.

Castiel turned around and stepped right into Dean's personal place, staring the man down before speaking. "Dean, perhaps our humanization has fooled you, but you are seemingly forgetting that we are Angels of the Lord. I respect you and consider you a friend, but you mustn't forget who, and _what_, you're dealing with."

"Yeah, 'cause pansies with feathers are _so_ intimidating," the hunter responded sarcastically.

Suddenly Castiel grabbed Dean by the collar of his shirt and backed him into the wall, their bodies flush against each other and their faces close. The small flicker of fear that passed through Dean's eyes didn't escape my notice. I couldn't repress a small smirk of triumph at seeing my younger brother put the arrogant hunter in his place.

"You clearly have not given much thought as to why Gabriel and I have accompanied you and your brother, but if you knew what we were capable of, maybe you wouldn't be so quick to trust us," Castiel growled.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean asked.

Sam or Dean may not know what was going on, but I did. Castiel was trying to push Dean away to keep himself from getting hurt. He knew the danger that we were putting the Winchesters in by being around them and couldn't bear to have his heart broken if one of them were harmed. He was naïve sometimes, but when it came to letting himself get too emotional over someone, he knew exactly how to stop it before it happened.

Castiel didn't reply, he just let go of Dean and stepped back, a curious mix of anger and sexual tension in the air between them. I doubted anyone but me could sense the latter, but it was there. They stared at each other for several long moments before Castiel disappeared into thin air.

"Where did he go?" Sam asked confusedly.

I shook my head sadly. "He just needs some time alone."

Both of the Winchesters threw perplexed glances in my direction, but I swiftly averted my gaze and instead fixed it on the cracked pavement. I knew that Castiel was on an emotional rollercoaster because while he obviously cared about Dean, he also knew the consequences of getting too close to anyone. I didn't understand how he could possibly be so infatuated with Dean after only knowing him for a short period of time, but I guess they'd clicked or whatever it is sappy humans do.

"Gabriel, can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, sure."

Dean said he was going to go get rooms, so I placed two fingers on Sam's forehead and transported him to the grounds of a local college. It was secluded and small, but the grounds were lovely to admire. We walked across them in silence for several moments before he finally spoke.

"There's something you're not telling me."

I nodded in affirmation, so he continued.

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

Damn, he was persistent. "Because you and your brother would hate Castiel and me."

"No we wouldn't. I like you and your brother, and we don't just turn on the people we care about for no reason."

"Oh trust me, you'd have plenty of reason."

"If you're going to have friends, being honest with them is part of the package."

We'd come to a stop underneath a large tree, the light streaming between the leaves and casting splotchy shadows onto the ground. I stared at my feet and tried to think of how to avoid this conversation. He couldn't know that it had been my fault that his father was dead. John had died because I'd been careless and stupid.

I finally looked back up. "I can't tell you, Sammy. I'm sorry."

There was so much open vulnerability in my voice that he didn't even correct my use of his nickname. A large hand rested on my shoulder, and though I didn't respond to the touch, I didn't push him away. My grace could feel his soul and see his intentions were pure. He only wanted to know the truth. His soul was slightly muddled with demon blood I'd sensed in him, but other than that it was one of the most beautiful creations I'd ever seen. There was a tug yanking persistently at my heart, and I had no idea what it meant.

"_You're the one I want to chase, you're the one I want to hold_

_I won't let another minute go to waste_

_I want you and your beautiful soul."_


	9. Cause Soulmates Never Die

***Lyrics from Sleeping With Ghosts (Soulmates Never Die) by Placebo**

"_The sea's evaporated, though it comes as no surprise_

_These clouds we're seeing, they're explosions in the sky_

_It seems it's written, but we can't read between the line."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

"Cas, you okay?"

I sensed Dean's presence long before he arrived. I'd taken refuge on the roof of the motel, looking down over the edge. Warmth pressed lightly against my arm as he settled down beside me. My eyes remained focused on the ground. It was getting late, the sun setting and painting the horizon a colorful palette of yellows, reds, and oranges. Gabriel was still with Sam; I could sense his grace a few miles away at the Brevard College.

"I apologize for my behavior earlier."

"Hey, it's fine, Sammy does the PMSing thing all the time too. I just thought I'd make sure you were okay."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, don't mention it."

We sat in peaceful silence as we stared down at the small town below us. His nearness was oddly comforting. I just wish I knew how to cope with the rush of emotions that always accompanied his arrival. Not once in my existence had I felt these sensations before. He made me laugh, made me smile, made me sing along with that Bon Jovi song…what had Dean Winchester done to me?

"Man, if you think much harder you're brain's going to fry."

I glanced over at him apologetically. "I am sorry. I don't make very appropriate company."

"You don't have to keep apologizing."

Silence again fell upon us, the void not awkward in the slightest. The sun at last dipped behind the distant mountains and left us lit by the rising moon. Though this town was small, it was beautiful. Most would probably look at it as simple and maybe even dull, but something about it felt homey to me. Everything from the large library to the white squirrels that seemed to be everywhere were welcoming.

"Dean…may I ask you a question?"

He took a drink of the beer I hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Shoot."

"What does affection feel like?"

"You know what affection feels like, I can see how much you love Gabriel."

"I meant…_love_."

Obviously he could tell from my emphasis on the word what I meant. "Oh, _that_ kind of affection. You want me to tell you what it's like to be in love? C'mon man, this isn't a romantic comedy movie. The best I could offer is for you to borrow my porn tape collection."

I didn't know what a porn tape was, but I focused on the earlier half of the sentence. "I merely want to understand how it feels."

"I can't believe this," he sighed quietly before taking a deep breath. "Love…um. For starters, your stomach feels like it's doing flip-flops, your heart skips a beat sometimes, you smile even when they say something that isn't funny, normally you bang 'em and then cuddle…okay, so before this conversation gets any fucking weirder, have I covered it?"

I noticed his discomfort and decided to drop the subject. "Yes, Dean. Thank you."

"So, what's the verdict?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just told you how it would feel. Do you love this mysterious unnamed person?"

I swallowed hard and avoided his eyes. A cool breeze kissed my face as I looked for some form of distraction. I absently picked at the hem of my coat, trying to think of some way not to have to answer him. A large part of me feared that if I told him the truth that he would realize who I was talking about.

Still, I decided to be truthful with him with at least this much. "Yes. I barely know them, but yes…I love them."

"If you're so nuts about her then why are you here? Shouldn't you be sweeping her off her feet and carrying her into the sunset?" he joked.

How could I possibly answer that? How could I tell him that the first person I'd ever loved (besides Gabriel, of course, but that was a completely different kind of love) was sitting right next to me? Even I didn't understand how I'd come to love Dean Winchester in such a small amount of time, let alone how to keep myself from acting on it.

There was no way I could pursue these feelings. Everywhere I went, every time I let myself care about someone, people got hurt. Take John Winchester for example. I'd looked at him as something of a surrogate uncle, but he hadn't lived long enough for my feelings to matter. Gabriel was both my father and my brother, but never until John had I considered another fatherly figure, and not until meeting Dean had I considered a lover.

I stopped that thought in its tracks before it could continue. He could never be anything more to me than a friend. It was too dangerous. The closer I got to him, the easier it was to get hurt. Gabriel and I had sacrificed having any form of romantic attachments, both because the people we cared about were at risk and because we could never stay. The latter wasn't an issue with Dean, but the former most definitely was.

Knowing he deserved the truth, or at least as much of it as I could give him, I quietly said, "Dean, the person I love…is-"

"Hey there kiddo! I thought I'd never find ya," Gabriel chimed, appearing next to me.

"Hello, Gabriel." My voice didn't sound angry, more like weary and exhausted.

"Our rooms are booked and ready, lets go get some shut-eye, yeah?"

_Castiel, we need to talk. It's important._

_What's wrong, brother?_

_Like I said, we need to talk. Now._

I quickly bid my goodnights to the Winchesters before transporting down to mine and Gabriel's room. There were two twin sized beds, but we opted to get on one and sit across from each other. Our positions were identical: Legs folded, hands clasped loosely together, shoulders slightly tense. There was no doubt we were brothers.

"We have to talk about Sam and Dean," he said.

I sighed. "I do not know what has happened."

"I do."

"What?"

"Isn't it obvious?" At my blank look, he rolled his eyes and continued, "We don't feel this in our heads, or our hearts…we feel in in our grace."

He was right. The only emotion that was strong enough to reach all the way down to my grace was my love for him, my brother, and that was because we were bonded in a way that no human could ever understand. I briefly pushed my confusion about the grace deep feelings aside in favor of something else he'd said.

"Gabriel, you do realize what you just said, correct?"

"That we're feeling this all the way down to our grace? Yep."

"_We_. You said _we._"

"Okay fine, so the cat's out of the bag. You've got it in for Dean, and I think I have a little bit of a thing for Sammy…"

He scratched the back of his neck, embarassed. I smiled just slightly. It was good to know I wasn't the only one coping with these new, confusing emotions.

"The question is, why are we feeling it down to our grace? It's impossible to feel that deeply unless it's between two angels. Bonded angels," I said.

"Like us," he finished. "Maybe we're…"

He trailed off, so I nudged his leg with my foot. "Maybe we're what?"

"Never mind, I think I've been watching too many chick flicks."

"Tell me what you're thinking, Gabriel. I am not above prying it out of your head."

He scowled at me, knowing I would make good on the threat. "In Heaven, we were taught that every single angel has a second half, right? And I don't mean a brother, I mean…"

He was fumbling for a word so I offered one. "A soulmate?"

"Exactly. I think we might be soulmates with the Winchesters."

"_Hush, it's okay, dry your eyes_

_Soulmate dry your eyes_

_Dry your eyes, soulmate dry your eyes _

_'Cause soulmates never die."_


	10. If I Promised Not To Fight

***Lyrics are from Stay by Michelle Featherstone because one, they totally fit the way Castiel is always disappearing on the show, and two, because I watched an epic Destiel video to the song**

_"If I promised not to fight, at least not tonight_

_Would you stay the night?"_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"So much for finding the Wendigo today," I commented as Sam and I flopped down on our beds.

"Yeah, Gabriel and Cas were acting pretty weird," he agreed.

"I wonder what's wrong with them."

"That's what I was trying to get out of Gabriel, but he kept changing the subject."

"Maybe we can get 'em boozed up and then try to get them to spill."

I could tell I was getting Sam Winchester Bitchface Number Eight, which translated to "Seriously, Dean? How am I even related to you?"

"Dean, you're seriously talking about date raping two angels?"

"Not raping, just…getting answers."

"Well if you do end up jumping Cas' bones before it's over, please get your own room first."

I threw a well aimed pillow that promptly hit him in the head. "Have you forgotten I like boobs?"

"No, but I've also seen the way you look at him."

"Trust me man, I'm straight as a fucking stick."

"Sure."

I glared at the back of his head, but he'd turned over and went to sleep. His snoring filled the room a few moments later. I groaned and buried my head under the pillow, trying to drown out the little brother that was seemingly trying to suck the drapes off the wall. And possibly chip the paint while he was at it.

I tried to sleep, but my dreams were haunted by rumpled dark hair and bright, innocent blue eyes.

_*The Next Afternoon*_

"Okay, so it's somewhere deep in the Pisgah forest, and there aren't any nearby campers that need evacuated. Good," Sammy said.

We were sitting in a small, old fashioned diner called The Cardinal. Tiny, but god damn they had the best food _ever_. Brevard was starting to grow on me. Not to mention Sam had almost had a nerdgasm when he'd seen the massive library; him and Cas had spent all morning doing research. Gabriel and I had stayed at the diner and eaten until our stomachs couldn't contain another bite. We'd left only briefly, and now we were all four back to eat lunch.

I grinned. "So let's go gank the motherfucker and get out of here."

Sam frowned briefly, presumably at leaving his beloved new library so soon, but didn't protest. We paid for our food and split up into our respective cars, having switched back to our usual passengers. I put in my Bon Jovi tape again, but Sam wouldn't sing along like Cas did. Killjoy.

Taking care of the Wendigo was a piece of cake, especially when all Gabriel had to do was snap his fingers and reduce it to a pile of dust. We drove all the way back to the Roadhouse just to celebrate our first successful hunt together. I winked at Jo when I walked in, but for some reason my heart wasn't in my flirting like it usually was.

"Why is that man sleeping on the large piece of furniture?" Cas asked.

I looked over to see Ash passed out on the pool table. Grinning, I guided Cas over to a table and sat down next to him. I quickly explained who Ash was. They definitely needed to meet whenever the drunk computer genius happened to wake up. We ordered beers and clinked our glasses together, all smiling. Even Cas was in pretty rare form tonight.

"Yo!" greeted Ash when he finally rolled off the pool table.

"Hey Ash," I smiled.

He walked over and took a drink of Sam's beer before handing it back to him. "So, who are the new sons of bitches?"

Gabriel grinned at Ash's kidding tone. "I'm Gabriel, this is my brother Castiel. We're feathery dicks."

"Whatever turns ya on, man."

"If you are under the impression that our genitals have feathers, then know the Gabriel was-"

"_Cas_," I cut him off, placing a hand over his mouth. "Dudes do not talk to other dudes about…um, man parts."

Suddenly unnerved by the rush of warmth that flooded me at the feel of his mouth against my palm, I withdrew my hand and took a long pull of beer. Ash sat down with us and quickly got to know the angels, taking an immediate liking to them just like Sam and I had. Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" came on the radio, and I shared a small, private smile with Cas.

"We should go to Bobby's and introduce him to Gabriel and Cas," Sam suggested.

"You know that we can't stay long," Cas said quickly. "We warned you that we are…pursued."

"I just want you two to meet him. He's been our surrogate father for as long as I can remember, he'd the only dad I've known since mine died before I was born."

Cas suddenly stood up and walked away, looking taut as a wire. His eyes and looked dangerously close to wet before he got to his feet. I stared after him confusedly, wondering how many layers of perplexing personality can be added to someone before they flake off to reveal the man hidden underneath. I had a feeling that the person at the core of Castiel was a torn and broken creature. It was a gut deep instinct.

Giving into impulse, I rose to my feet and followed him, finding him outside. He leaned against the back wall looking tired and scared. I didn't think he even paid me any attention until I rested a hand on his shoulder. Sammy always did that when people were upset and it seemed to work, so I figured why not give it a try.

"Cas, what the hell aren't you telling me? First you get all freaked when you find out I'm Mary's kid, and then one mention of my dad and you're booking ass?"

Without another word…he vanished.

_"If I poured another drink, what would you think about staying in?_

_If I was sincere and whispered my fears, would you still be here?"_


	11. Where Do You Go When You're Lonely

***Lyrics from When The Stars Go Blue by...um, a lot of people have covered it, but the only version I'm familiar with is the one by Bethany Joy Lenz**

_"Where do you go when you're lonely?_

_Where do you go when you're blue?_

_Where do you go when you're lonely, I'll follow you_

_When the stars go blue."_

I located Castiel's grace and appeared next to him.

He was back in Brevard, standing outside the now closed library, staring at nothing in particular. It didn't surprise me he was here; he'd taken a liking to the small town. I stood next to him silently. Big brothers knew when their siblings didn't need words, only someone to just be there for them. It was a long time before he finally spoke.

"If we are right in thinking the Winchesters are our soulmates…perhaps we should not return to them."

I smiled slightly. "Castiel, if they _are_ our soul mates, then we don't have a choice. We'll end up going back to them no matter what."

"I don't want them to be hurt."

"Well neither do I, but I think we're stuck with those idiots."

"Why don't these emotions scare you?"

"Because once you accept them…they're actually not so bad."

He glanced over at me. "Accept them?"

"There's no fighting what you feel, little bro. Once you accept that you care about someone it makes it a lot easier. I've learned my lesson about running away from my problems."

"You took me from Heaven to protect me, Gabriel. I will always be indebted to you for that."

"For what, making your life a living Hell? You've been hunted since you were a kid, Castiel. I never wanted that for you."

"Without you, I would be dead by now. I would have been killed during the war."

I sighed quietly. "I know, I just wish there could have been an easier way…"

Our conversation faded into a peaceful silence, leaving us to take solace in each other's presence. A soft breeze lifted my hair and blew a few long blond strands into my eyes. I glanced over at Castiel, who was absently watching one of the town's many white squirrels idly munch away at an acorn. His blue eyes were more distant than I'd ever seen them.

In hopes to cheer him up, I nudged him and said, "How about we track down the Winchester bros, find us another hunt, and you make me breakfast in bed?"

"My cooking isn't even edible, Gabriel."

"Well I want you to cook for me anyways, so suck it up."

Amusement danced in the sapphire depths of his irises, telling me that I had managed to lift his spirits. We simultaneously sought out Sam and Dean (we were oddly attuned to them, probably another sign of being soulmates) and arrived in the back of the Impala. They didn't even know we were here until Sam looked back and yelped in startle. Dean almost swerved off the road. I also didn't miss the brief gleam of relief in his eyes when he saw Castiel.

"Next time the two of you disappear, how about a little bit of warning, yeah?" Sam said.

I smiled. "Sorry, kiddo."

He smiled back, and our gaze held a little longer than strictly necessary. We both looked away to find our brothers staring at us curiously. Dean and Castiel wore matching expressions of "We are _so_ talking about this the minute I get you alone." It was a facial expression used by brothers all over the world.

They'd already found our next hunt, so we slept in the backseat while they remained up front. I woke once with Cas' head in my lap, and again to find my head on his shoulder. We ended up in an array of odd but surprisingly comfortable positions. At one point he got cold (yes, angels can get cold) and removed his trench coat, burying himself under it. He looked adorable.

It was almost twenty hours before we reached our next destination. All of the rooms in the cheapest motel we could find except for one were booked solid, and the only available room had one queen sized bed. Even though Castiel and I had slept on the way, we were still too exhausted to protest. Dean, on the other hand, bitched, complained and even opted to sleep on the floor for half an hour straight until Sam shot him a glare so fierce that it might stop a demon right in its tracks.

Too tired to change out of our usual clothes, we collapsed onto the mattress, staying closer to our individual siblings. It didn't do much good. We woke up the following morning in a messy tangle of limbs. Sam was on the far right side, sprawled out in all directions, I was draped across the foot of the bed with my head resting on his leg, and Castiel was curled up against Dean's side, the former's leg draped over my waist.

"It looks like someone had a clothed gay orgy in here," Dean mumbled.

He looked down to see Castiel pressed into his side, sleeping soundly. I fixed him with a look that clearly implied I would turn him into a pile of dust if he woke my little brother up from that good of a sleep. Sam snickered quietly at my almost fatherly glare, and I smacked his ankle hard enough to make him wince. What? I'm not a morning person, okay?

"Uh, Gabriel, your little brother's kinda in my personal space," Dean said as Castiel snuggled even closer and buried his face in the hunter's neck.

"You'll get used to it. I did."

He sighed and looked down at the sleeping angel. "Awesome." A note of sarcasm laid under his words.

"Gabriel, get off of my leg, I need to go take a shower," Sam bitched.

I grumbled discontentedly and moved so I was against Castiel's other side, the one unoccupied by Dean, and draped an arm over his waist. Several people had thought we had an incestuous relationship over the years, but we were just close. Extremely close. I figured Sam and Dean had probably been thought to be gay several times since they traveled so much together.

Dean left to go get breakfast and Sam was still in the shower, leaving Castiel and me alone. He stirred when Dean left, frowning slightly. Shifting, he leaned back against me, blinking sleepily. I lightly stroked his hair like I used to do when he was a child. I could tell something was wrong, so I asked what was on his mind.

"You are correct to say that these feelings cannot be controlled. How do I make Dean understand our bond?"

A mischievous grin crept up onto my lips. The shower cut off, and Sam stepped out shortly after, wrapped in nothing but a towel. I turned to Castiel with a smile that had always meant I was up to no good.

"Watch and learn, kiddo."

_"Dancin' out on seventh street_

_Dancin' through the underground_

_Dancin' little marionette, are you happy now?"_


	12. You Believed That I Could Be Somebody

****

**Author's Note:**

**Warning: Major Sabriel fluff ahead! The next chapter will also be nothing but straight Sabrielness, so read at your own risk! It's a fluff overload :P Sorry if it's rushed. Lyrics are from For The Nights I Can't Remember by Hedley.**

* * *

_"And did you really look my way?_

_'Cause no one could have seen this coming_

_I would never let you down_

_If I was running backwards in full time."_

"Hey there Sammy," I greeted, hopping off the bed and not bothering to mask my obvious appreciation as my eyes traveled over him.

He shifted uncomfortably at my scrutiny. "Um, hi Gabriel."

"So," I started, taking a few steps forward and placing myself directly in front of him, "You look bored."

I watched his throat move as he swallowed hard. I wasn't oblivious, I knew he was just as attracted to me as I was to him. Everything from the way his hazel eyes stared deeply into mine from his audibly accelerated heartbeat proved the mutual chemistry. It wasn't just physical, either. We could feel it right down to our cores. Try as I might to deny it…we were soulmates.

"Gabriel…"

I cut off his protest by pressing my finger to his lips. His protests were muffled against my index finger as he tried to talk me out of my reckless actions. He was obviously still in denial, but I'd given up on denying how I felt ever since that evening at Brevard college. We'd ended up telling each other most of our live stories, and he even went so far as to tell me he'd been addicted to demon blood a few months ago. I'd already been able to tell by the splotches on his soul, but I was glad he'd confided in me.

"Cas is right over there…"

I smiled. "Just pretend he isn't."

I drew us together, my hands framing his face. His eyes closed and his long eyelashes cast shadows across his flushed cheeks. He was beautiful. I knotted my fingers in his hair, getting so close that I could feel his breath dancing across my face. His scent was heady and intoxicating.

He leant forward to close the distance between us, and I pushed him back, grinning.

"You are such a _tease_," he growled.

I stepped back, laughing my ass off. He'd sure as hell been ready to kiss me, and I'd come extremely close to giving in, but teasing him was so much more fun! Sam glared at me again before grabbing clothes out of his duffel bag and disappearing into the bathroom to get dressed. I sat down next to Castiel on the bed, still grinning.

"And that, my darling little brother, is how it's done."

* * *

Hours later, while Castiel and Dean were out interviewing the surviving victims of the ghost we were hunting, Sam and I were left alone to "research." I was sprawled out on the bed doing absolutely nothing. Sam was sitting at the small table typing away on his laptop, occasionally glancing up. I smirked when I realized I was distracting him.

There was nothing particularly provocative about my position, but it seemed like something about my tight fitting jeans and button down shirt with the first couple of buttons undone were catching his attention. Knowing I had him right where I wanted him, I folded my hands under my head and gave him a cocky smile.

"This isn't funny, Gabriel."

"What, you checking me out? No, you're right Sammy, it's not funny. It's hilarious."

With a sigh, he closed his laptop and walked over, perching on the edge of the bed. "I don't want to play games with you."

"Why not? They're so much fun."

"I know this is going to sound really weird coming from someone that everyone thinks is straight, but if we're going to have something…I want it to be real."

My lip quirked. "You're gay?"

"I didn't know I was bisexual until I met you," he muttered embarrassedly. "But did you hear a single word I said?"

"When you say real, what exactly does that entail?"

"It means I'm not going to be the one you come to when you're bored and want someone to screw. I want to be…" he trailed off.

"You want to be what?"

All sarcasm had drained from my tone. For once, I was dead serious.

He looked me straight in the eyes, his fingers trailing down the side of my face. It sounded like there was a catch in his throat when he spoke. As girlish as it sounded, I felt my heart beat overtime. If I'd harbored any doubt that we were soul mates, it vanished the moment he voiced the words that sent my grace pulsating wildly within me.

"I want to be…yours."

_"Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody_

_But you believed that I could be somebody_

_You put your world on hold for me, gave away to follow failure through the fire."_


	13. I Can Only Give You Everything I've Got

***Lyrics from Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol. This is nothing but Sabriel fluff, so if you're only reading the fic for Destiel, feel free to skip this chapter**

_"Please don't let this turn into something it's not_

_I can only give you everything I've got_

_I can't be as sorry as you think I should_

_But I still love you more than anyone else could."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

With those words, I leaned over him and hesitated for the briefest of moments before kissing him. Let me tell you, kissing a guy after over twenty years of kissing women is really weird, but it was _Gabriel_. Something about that fact alone had my muscles lax and my heart free. The only sound in the room was our breathing and the rapid beating of our hearts.

Something otherworldly happened when my lips touched his. My heart, my being, my entire _soul_ soared. Fire burned through me, its heat quickly soothed by the ecstasy that followed. Never in my life had I experienced a more perfect feeling.

His body felt small and maybe even delicate under my much larger one, but all the same I couldn't help but acknowledge just how powerful he was. An archangel. _My_ archangel. My Gabriel. The sheer fact he belonged to me was enough to make my soul light up with a happiness so bright I nearly shuddered at the force of it.

I was on top of him, kissing him slowly but passionately, and he had one hand on my lower back, the fingers of his free one winding through my hair. Our movements were acts of unadulterated emotion untainted by anything but a shared devotion to each other. A void I didn't even realize was in me filled, mixing with my soul and entwining permanently.

There was no question that after this, everything would change. I had questions. Obviously I wasn't complaining, but I didn't understand the reaction my soul was having. The soul isn't just a term used by love gurus; It's a real, palpable thing that I could feel nestled within the depths of me. And it was currently in a state of utter completion, like it had never been whole until I claimed Gabriel.

When we finally broke from the kiss, I stared at him, unable to speak. It had only been a kiss, but every single detail of it had been mind blowing. The touch of his skin and lips against mine, the singing in my soul, the beautiful knowledge that he belonged to me…to say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.

I laid down next to him, keeping our bodies close together. I wasn't ready to release this feeling. He took my hand, lacing our fingers together tightly. The moment was so intimate that my heart could barely stand the bare perfection of it. All of the dark patches I'd felt within me since my encounter with demon blood addiction had disappeared. It was like he'd taken my soul and cleansed it of every darkness it had ever held.

"What just happened?" I whispered.

"I just blew your poor little human mind," he said with a smirk. "That was just kissing, I can't wait to see you once we have sex."

"Gabriel!"

"What? You're gonna be a wreck!"

I laughed and shook my head. "What am I going to do with you, Gabriel?"

"I have a couple of ideas," he responded coyly.

I smiled, rolling my eyes before turning serious. "All kidding aside…what's going on?"

"It'll freak you out."

"Tell me anyways."

"This is going to sound like something out of one of those cheesy romantic comedy flicks, but have you ever heard of…soulmates?"

"We're soulmates?"

He looked away as if fearing my reaction. "My grace can feel it, and I could feel you're soul going nuts in there. So yeah. We're soulmates. I'm yours, you're mine."

The end of that sentence was spoke with a humorous tone, but I could hear genuine sincerity woven into it. It had so many alternate meanings. He was mine. I was his. He laid a hand on my arm, and I looked around to see we were laying on a blanket under a tree at the campus of Brevard college. No one was there. We had it all to ourselves. The campus had inadvertently become a sort of retreat for Gabriel and I ever since the first time we came here.

"I figure we have a lot to talk about and Dean and Castiel should be getting back to the motel soon, so maybe we should continue this here, yeah?"

I nodded. "Probably not the worst idea."

I briefly wondered how they would know where we went, but then realized Gabriel could sent a mental message to Cas informing him of where we were. Dean was going to be unbearable once he found out about Gabriel and I. Using the words "Gabriel and I" didn't freak me out as much as it probably should have. Our newfound relationship felt so natural and easy.

"Dean's probably going to throw a fit about you and me."

Gabriel smiled slightly. "You and me. I think I like how that sounds."

"I think I do too," I said.

"I saw the way they've been looking at each other…are Dean and Castiel…?"

"Soulmates? Yep."

I stifled laughter. My straight, womanizing brother's soul mate was a socially awkward, _male_ angel? I was never letting him live it down. After all the mocking he'd put me through, I finally had material for payback. Now all we needed was for Dean to pull his head out of his ass and realize he cared about Cas as a hell of a lot more than a friend.

"So what exactly does this soulmates thing mean?" I asked.

We were laying on our backs, side by side, and he stretched like a cat before replying. "I'll know when you're in danger, you'll know when I'm in danger. We'll never want anyone else. Now that we're in a full on relationship, our bodies won't react to anyone else."

"Well I don't intend on going anywhere, so I'm fine with that."

"Same." There was a short pause before he spoke again. "So, Sammy, I have to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"You don't even act surprised. I mean c'mon. We're soulmates, you're attracted to a guy for the first time in your life, a guy who is an archangel nonetheless, you have a constant target on your back because you're important to me and the other angels know it…That's an awful lot to take in, and you haven't even flinched."

"After you've been hunting as long as I have, the earth shattering revelations aren't as bad as they used to be."

"So you're not freaked out? Not even a little bit?"

"Nope."

He pulled himself on top of me and kissed me, speaking against my lips in a content murmur. "Good."

_"The first kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything_

_The weight of water, the way you taught me_

_To look past everything I have ever learned_

_The final word and the final sentence_

_You ever uttered to me was love."_


	14. Nobody Said It Was Easy

***Lyrics from The Scientist by Coldplay**

_"I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_Tell you I set you apart_

_Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions_

_Oh let's go back to the start."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Where'd Gabriel and Sammy get off to?" I asked when we arrived to find our room empty.

"He has telepathically informed me that they are on the grounds of Brevard college."

"Again? Geez, much more of this and I'm gonna start thinking my brother's gay."

"I have never liked the term 'gay.' I believe that while most were raised to believe they can only love the opposite sex, all humans have the capability to love someone, whether they be male or female."

I rolled my eyes. "Wanna go find a gay pride flag to wave around?"

He gave me his confused puppy look, so I sighed and looked around. Sam and Gabriel weren't here, so it looked like it was up to me and Cas to salt and burn this bitch. I tried not to get offended at the secrets Cas was obviously keeping from me, given that I hadn't even known him that long and he wasn't really obligated to tell me anything, but it obviously had something to do with my parents, so hell yeah I wanted to know what the fuck was going on.

"Well we can't go burn the bones until it's nighttime and no one's around to see us, so how about I make you a deal, Cas?" A plan was forming in my mind.

He narrowed his eyes skeptically. "What kind of deal?"

"A drinking game. When I win, you tell me what the hell you're hiding."

"What are the rules?"

"It's simple. Whoever can drink the most wins."

"Deal."

I pulled two shot glasses from my duffel (yes, I travel with shot glasses) and placed them on the small table. I then withdrew the bottle of whiskey I always had around for either sterilizing wounds or just to drink. Knowing I would win hands down, I poured shot after shot, unfazed by the fact he was downing every single one without flinching.

* * *

"Ready to call it quits?" I asked cockily after we'd gone through a countless number of shots. I was secretly hoping he would say yes, that he was ready to wave the white flag, because I was so drunk I was about to fall off the chair.

"Why? It seems we are just now getting started."

Because _of course _an Angel of the Lord could hold his frickin' alcohol.

We went through the entire bottle of whiskey, and I was holding on to the bar, trying not to fall off my chair. He was sitting there completely unaffected. I drunkenly staggered to my feet and would have fallen over had he not caught me around the waist and laid me on the bed. Okay, fine, he won.

"Dean, you are very heavily intoxicated."

"Ya think?" I slurred.

I was so drunk I couldn't even think straight. My body felt as heavy as lead, pinned to the bed by nothing but the result of my own stupidity. Out drinking an angel? Yeah, great plan Dean. The only think I'd achieved was now being completely and totally wasted. I looked up at where Cas was still sitting on the edge of the bed and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you starin' at?"

He looked away. "Nothing."

"C'mon chuckles, spit it out."

"You would not believe me if I told you."

"'Bout what?"

"You and I…we're…"

"We're…what?"

"Bound."

I narrowed my eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your soul and my grace are entwined. Permanently." He seemed reluctant to say the words.

I scoffed. "Dude, I'm not buyin' what you're sellin.'"

"I am not 'selling' anything," he said, making air quotes. "I am telling you the truth."

Damn, I was way too drunk for this conversation. My eyes were growing heavy and didn't want to stay open. They fluttered shut, and I felt lips press against my cheek. I might have sprung away from the sudden contact had my heart not started racing. Blankets were pulled over me, and I heard him whisper a single word.

"Soulmates."

I was already half asleep when he softly uttered that one word. Warmth filled my left side as he laid down next to me, and I was too drunk and exhausted to protest. Normally I would be freaking out because another male was in bed with me, but I was slowly letting the final grains of consciousness sift through my fingers.

And so, with a warm body pressed close to mine, I drifted into a deep sleep.

_"Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh take me back to the start."_


	15. A Broken Heart That's Still Beating

**Author's Note:**

**Angst! OOCness! My angst bunny was wildly out of control and wouldn't leave me alone until this was written! I know that in the show Castiel hardly ever gets emotional, but I've never been able to portray him as an apathetic warrior of God, so he's extremely out of character in this fic. Lyrics are from Broken by Lifehouse.**

**P.S. I have a picture of Cas and Gabriel's Ferrari up on my profile :-) A red Ferrari California frequently ends up in my fics because it's my dream car.**

"_I am here still waiting _

_But I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

I was walking through the door with one of the burgers Dean liked so much when I noticed he wasn't in bed. My brow furrowed worriedly, I wandered into the bathroom and found him on his knees in front of the toilet. He was covered in sweat and a slightly foul odor.

"Dean, what is wrong?"

"Drank…too much…oh here we go again," he managed to get out before emptying his stomach's contents into the toilet.

I got down on my knees next to him and gently laid a comforting hand on his back as he retched pitifully. Careful not to use enough of my grace for the other angels to track me by, I sent a little wave of power through him to make the hangover more bearable. He shot me a grateful look in return.

Once he was out of the bathroom and clean of the sweat and bile that had ended up on him, he thanked me for bringing him breakfast but said there was no way he could eat without throwing it back up. I understood. We sat down across from each other at the table, and I tentatively reached over to capture his hand in mine. I tried not to be confused or offended when he drew he hand back.

"Ugh, I don't even remember most of last night. What happened?"

I averted my gaze. "How much do you remember?"

"Being so drunk that I wanted to fall off the damn chair, but other than that I barely remember anything."

"Nothing particularly remarkable occurred."

"Good."

I fell silent as he leaned back in his chair. Well, that explained why he wasn't reacting to my gestures of affection. He didn't remember me telling him about our bond, didn't remember letting me curl up against his back and fall asleep. I'd gotten up and left to find him breakfast before he'd woken up, and apparently that was a good thing. His reaction to waking up next to me would have probably been rather bad.

Also, I'd bought the things I would need to make Gabriel breakfast, because I hadn't forgotten about my promise to make him breakfast in bed. Yesterday we'd been busy, and today he wasn't even here. He'd seen me a mental message informing me that he'd fallen asleep at the college campus. I could tell by his grace that Sam now belonged to him and vice versa. Their souls shone brighter than the sun. I was not envious, only happy for them.

"Cas, you okay?"

I abandoned my thoughts for the present. "I am fine."

We again fell into silence, so I rose to my feet and said, "Last night you were too heavily intoxicated to be anywhere near flammables, so we shall go handle the ghost's remains tonight. In the meantime I believe I will go for a walk."

"Okay, see ya later."

I transported to the place that had become my domain. Transylvania County Library. It was oddly comforting to be there in spite of having only visited the facility twice. I walked over to one of the benches against the side of the building and sat down, staring blankly into the distance. This was one of the only places I felt secure letting my thoughts wander.

Deep down, I knew I was overreacting. I shouldn't be bothered that he didn't remember. It wasn't like anything had actually happened between us. I'd told him we were soul mates, he'd been so drunk that he'd let me share a bed with him. Nothing too monumental.

But then again, I yearned for him. It was engrained in me all the way down to my grace to love him. My entire heart ached to be with him. Never in my life before now had I wanted anything - I didn't mind when Gabriel took me hunting, didn't care when I ended up on the run from angels - but this was the only thing I wanted.

Dean.

My pathetic musings were stopped short by a wave of nausea rolling through me. Dread immediately had my stomach in knots. It was a gut deep feeling that I only got when other angels were nearby, and they would only me nearby for one reason. Me.

I transported back to the motel room to let Sam, Gabriel and Dean know that it was time to leave again. We still had probably two hours before the angels tracked us down, but we need not waste any more time than necessary. However, when I appeared in the hallway outside the door, I found myself pausing.

Sam and Dean's voices came from within, and I could hear water running, meaning Gabriel was in the shower. It wasn't their locations that had me stopped. It was the words I heard them speaking oh so softly. Not once had I been one to eavesdrop, but I intuitively felt that the conversation was important.

"Gabriel said we should be getting out of here, he felt the angels nearby." Sam's voice was easy to recognize.

Next came Dean. "Sammy…"

"What?"

"Look man, I care about the angels, but you're still always going to be my main priority."

A dangerous edge had crept into the younger Winchester's voice. "What are you saying?"

"They're tough, you know they can defend themselves. We're human. And as much as I hate to admit it, we have no idea how to kill one of those feathery bastards. Maybe we should just…"

"What? _Abandon_ them?" Sam was practically yelling.

"You're my baby brother, and I'm not going to let you get roasted by a pissy angel just because of Gabriel and Cas."

"_Just_ because of Gabriel and Cas? You act like you don't even care about them, Dean!"

"I do, but I've been worried about keeping you safe a hell of a lot longer than I've been worried about keeping them safe. And since when are you so damn protective of them?"

"Cas is our friend, and Gabriel…"

Dean must have given him a nonverbal prompt to continue, because Sam quietly muttered, "I love him, okay? I love Gabriel."

"Tell me you're kidding."

"No. I love him, and I'm pretty sure Cas loves you, so we're going to protect them no matter what."

"First of all, Cas is just a friend and I'm straight. Second, when the hell did you decide to be gay? Third, we're not going to stay here and be ganked by the assholes hunting them. I'm not going to lose you Sam. Let's go before Cas shows back up."

I finally understood the human term "heartbreak." The entirety of my naïve, fragile heart shattered. Tears stung my eyes. Dean was leaving me. With one flash of arrogant smile and jade green eyes, I'd given in to coming along with him, and it turns out that he never wanted me to begin with. Confusion and unbearable pain threatened to swallow me whole.

It wasn't that I didn't understand him wanting to protect his brother, because I knew what it was like to have a sibling as your second half. Gabriel was the only thing that kept me together sometimes. It was my own stupidity for thinking that maybe, just _maybe_, there was a possibility that one day Dean could care for me as much as I cared for him.

"See? These humans are nothing, Castiel. They'll never care about you," whispered a voice behind me.

I turned around and felt my heart drop at the sight before me. "Zachariah."

He strode forward, his fingers tight around the hilt of a short silver sword. The only thing that could kill an angel. Before I could call out to Gabriel with my grace or reach for my own weapon, Zachariah effortlessly cast a spell to cut me off from my telepathic connections and render me immobile.

A blade buried itself deep in my stomach, and the last thing I remembered hearing was Dean's anguished scream.

"_Cas!"_

"_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart, that's still beating_

_In the pain, there is healing_

_In your name, I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on, I'm holding on_

_I'm barely holding on to you."_


	16. Are You Ready For This

**Author's Note:**

**Hi! This chapter is dedicated to Susangel, who has wonderfully reviewed every single chapter and given me endless ideas on how to continue :D Thank you Suzy! Lyrics are from Are You Ready by Three Days Grace, which is totally Gabriel's song. Seriously. Listen to it.**

* * *

"_You said we'd never get this far_

_You said your words, we played our parts_

_Said your two cents now it's my turn_

_So sit down, shut up, are you ready?"_

I was dressed and toweling off my hair (I'd gotten in the habit of doing things the old fashioned way instead of just snapping my fingers) when the scream reached me. My heart plummeted right to the floor. Pulling my archangel's blade from the waistband of my jeans, I took off out of the bathroom and literally leapt over Dean, who was on all fours moaning in pain, and skidded into the hallway. Castiel's scream replayed in my ears over and over like some kind of sick mantra.

"Castiel!" I screamed desperately.

The hallway was empty. He'd cried out only seconds ago, but he was nowhere to be found. Dean was clutching his stomach, feeling his soulmate's pain. I kicked the wall hard enough to crack the plaster, but it did nothing to ease my fear and frustration. I didn't know if I wanted to scream or cry. Sam folded me into a comforting embrace. Burying my face in his shoulder, I used the hand not gripping my blade to clench the fabric of his shirt between my fingers.

"We've got to find him," I whispered brokenly.

His arms tightened around my waist. "We will. I promise."

"What the fuck's going on? Where's Cas?" Dean demanded, pointedly ignoring mine and Sam's position.

"The angel took him. Zachariah. I recognize his grace."

"Well let's go get him the hell back!"

"You think I don't want to? We don't know where he is!" I yelled back.

"And why the hell do I feel like someone's trying to rip my stomach out of my fucking throat?"

Guilt washed over me. "Because that's what Castiel's feeling. I wasn't there to protect him, so now-"

"Right, okay, we'll throw the pity party later. Why the hell am _I_ feeling it?"

With a downright animalistic snarl, I grabbed him by the throat and hurled him into the wall, pinning him with lethal force. He choked and sputtered as his oxygen ran short. I heard Sam trying to get me to let him go, but hell no, I wasn't letting it go this time. Castiel had called me off last time I'd went at Dean, but this time I wasn't backing down.

"You listen to me, you self centered little bastard. Castiel is your soulmate, okay? You're feeling his pain because you're his soulmate. You may be in denial because you're homophobic or whatever the hell's wrong with you, but you're head over heels and I know it. So for once, why don't you stop thinking about yourself?" I growled. The entire lecture sounded borderline feral I was so angry.

"What can I do?" His former apathy and arrogance had faded.

I let him go and stepped back. "Focus. Try as hard as you can to track him."

He visibly squelched the pain racing through his body as he allowed his eyes to fall shut. It was obvious how much effort he was putting into it. I shared a worried glance with Sam as the older brother clutched his head, clearly in pain because he was pushing the limits of his mortal boundaries by tapping into the connection.

"Warehouse…third street…_fuck_!" he exclaimed, dropping to his knees.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Sam asked, kneeling next to his brother worriedly.

"It's the bond. Whatever Castiel is going through, it's bad, because that's exactly what Dean is feeling. We need to go."

Sam hauled Dean to his feet and kept an arm around his waist to keep him upright, the taller brother pulling him along. I put a hand on either of their shoulders, transporting us to third street. A warehouse loomed ominously in the distance. A warehouse, really Zachariah? I mean c'mon, you'd think an angel could be a little more original than that.

Part of me had been confused when I hadn't been taken as well, but then Zachariah's plan had become painfully obvious. He was using my baby brother as bait. Torturing him and putting him through Hell because he knew that if he did that, I would come, meaning Sam would come, and even though he was in denial about his feelings for Castiel, Dean would come. I was the only one of that group that Zachariah wanted, but he still loved an audience. Conceited bastard.

I used a large amount of my power to manifest two angel killing blades, handing one to both brothers. Dean still looked rugged with pain but well enough intact to fight. Good. I didn't want to hear his bitching if he didn't get a piece of Zachariah, who was relentlessly torturing Castiel. However, he could only have Zachy when I was through with him. A wicked grin crossed my features at the thought of how little would be left of that sorry excuse for an angel once I was through with him. You want to mess with me? Fine. You want to mess with my brother? Hell. Fucking. _No. _

A memory invaded my thoughts without so much as a warning.

"_Gabriel, I can't sleep," Castiel admitted shyly as he sat on the edge of my bed._

_He now had the physical appearance of a human ten year old, and he looked embarrassed that he couldn't get to sleep by himself. We were in yet another run down motel room with two beds. Smiling warmly, I slid over and pulled the blankets back, letting him snuggle up against my side._

"_Better?" I asked._

"_Much. Thank you."_

_He drifted off to sleep, nothing but a mound under the blanket, the only visible part of him being the brown hair that stuck out from under the edge of the comforter. His breathing was slow and even as he exchanged the waking world for the peaceful fictional reality of his dreams. I'd been in his head once and had been touched to find that his happiest memories, the ones that played out behind his eyes while he slept, were ones of his time spent with me._

_I ran my fingers through the shock of hair that puffed out from the blanket. "I love you, Castiel. And don't you ever forget it."_

Fury and protectiveness burning through me like palpable flames, and as I ran my finger across the surface of my blade, I said in a quiet but intimidating tone, "Time to show Zachariah what happens when you mess with an archangel."

"_So you think you know how this story goes_

_Are you ready for this?_

_Sit down, are you ready for this?_

_Shut up, are you ready for this?_

_Stand up, are you ready for this?"_


	17. I Hope You Know Somebody Loves You

**Author's Note:**

**Let me start by saying that I'm really not happy with this chapter. I intended on more drama and blah, blah, blah, but it ended up just a bunch of fluff pretty much. Next chapter is nothing but Destielness, and in a couple more chapters it will be an angst-fest. Sorry. **

**I can't stand country music, but the song really suited my idea for the chapter, so the lyrics are from My Wish by Rascal Flatts. **

**Thanks so much to everyone that has reviewed so far!**

* * *

"_I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow_

_And each road takes you where you want to go_

_And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose_

_I hope you choose the one that means the most to you."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

We approached the warehouse, and conflicting emotions washed over me. I had learned so much in the past day. Sam was not only with Gabriel but his soulmate, and_ I_ was Castiel's soulmate. Castiel, who was male. But more importantly, he was hurt. I would figure out what to do about the gender thing later.

Right now my main concern was that he was in pain. I could feel it. Rage ripped through me at the thought of someone laying one single finger on my angel. The possessive term felt disturbingly natural. _Soulmate. _The word haunted my thoughts. Then again, should I really be surprised? It was a reasonable explanation for the lightheaded feeling I got every time Cas looked at me with those damn beautiful blue eyes.

Now it might be too late to finally suck it up and accept the fact I was in love with another man. I'd been such a coward, and god forbid he died not knowing how much I cared about him. It was the mental chick flick moment of the century, but the thought of him dying sent a shudder racing along my spine. Memories played out before me…Singing along with Bon Jovi until our throats were sore, talking on the roof of that motel, feeling a pang of worry as he disappeared to go "take a walk"…I flinched and realized I'd loved him all along.

The three of us entered the warehouse and found that its only occupants were Zachariah and Castiel. The latter was chained to a wooden chair and bleeding from multiple wounds. I lunged for him, but Sam held me back. The barely conscious angel met my eyes, and I knew that my gaze clearly said _I'm sorry. _I would have apologized for letting him down aloud, but my throat was too tight with emotion. Seeing him so bruised and bloody was breaking my heart.

"Well isn't this touching," Zachariah said sarcastically.

"You let my brother go, you son of a bitch," Gabriel snarled, walking forwards with his archangel's blade.

"One more move and Castiel dies," Zachariah replied, pressing an angel killing blade to Cas' neck.

The moment probably should have been worthy of an action flick. The evil character had a knife to the hostage's throat, the calvary were in a really bad position, and they had no back-up plan. The only flaw in that movie worthy plot was that we_ did_ have a back-up plan. A damn good one that had been a collaboration of me, Sammy, and Gabriel's brainstorming._ Fuck you very much, Zachariah,_ I thought.

"Sammy, you put the anti banishment talisman on Gabriel, right?" I asked.

Sam smirked. "Yep."

We shared a knowing look as Zachariah looked between us in confusion. Sam swiftly unbuttoned his shirt to reveal an angel banishment sigil, and Zachariah's eyes widened before Sam put his blood covered hand on the mark, sending the angel into oblivion with a flash of white light. Cas was bound with holy oil (it had an odor that we could smell even from several feet away) soaked chains, so the banishment spell didn't effect him. Gabriel had told us that holy oil made angels immune to magic.

The archangel made quick work of untying Cas, who limply collapsed forwards into his brother's arms. Sam watched Gabriel with an affectionate smile, but my attention was focused solely on Cas. Our gazes locked over Gabriel's shoulder. My eyes were glued to his as Gabriel fussed and worried over him.

"Let's get Cas outta here," Sam suggested. "Gabriel can't transport the Impala, so we'll have to drive."

Gabriel picked his brother up in his arms and carried him out to the Impala, getting into the backseat with him. He laid Cas' head in his lap as I pulled onto the road and headed for anywhere but here. A sense of relaxation and peace drifted over me as Cas fell asleep; I was feeling his emotions secondhand. Seeing him alive, albeit injured, brought me an unbelievable rush of relief.

* * *

Gabriel used his powers, heedless of alerting other angels to our presence, to heal the worst of Cas' wounds. The stab wound to his stomach was particularly bad, but Gabriel managed to heal the worst of it. The archangel had been wary of transporting, but once he'd seen how bad Cas was hurt, he hadn't seemed to give a damn. I couldn't blame him, I'd be the same way by Sammy.

Both angels ended up asleep in the backseat, and Sam was dozing every now and then, so I was left to my thoughts as I drove for hours and hours, not stopping until I found a somewhat decent-ish motel to crash in. Gabriel had already mentioned that we'd go back for the Ferrari tomorrow after Cas was feeling better.

Left with nothing but a half awake Sammy and my own thoughts, I chose to contemplate the latter. This wasn't over by a long shot. Zachariah would be back and furious, Cas and Gabriel were obviously keeping something from me and Sammy that had to do with our parents, and I had to admit my feelings to a certain socially inept angel. Awesome.

I decided that we would let Cas rest and heal for a few days, go get the Ferrari, and head down to Bobby's. It was time he met the angels. I'd told him over the phone a couple of days ago that we were hunting with a couple of people, but he didn't know the they were angels, and he sure as hell didn't know they were our soulmates. I cringed at the thought of explaining the second one.

Oh well. Cas was worth it.

* * *

"Can I, um, have a second with Cas?" I asked.

We were in a motel room in some tiny ass town, his wounds were treated and mending, and I wanted to talk to him. I wasn't going to keep pretending I didn't love him. It wasn't fair to keep him wondering what the hell I wanted. This entire experience had made me realize exactly what I wanted. Him.

Him and Gabriel still had hunters, and Zachariah wouldn't be gone forever, but I needed him to know how I felt. _And you call Sam a girl, _I thought to myself. I was turning into a total chick. Nonetheless, I still sat down on the edge of Cas' bed and placed my hand on top of his once Sam and Gabriel left the room.

"Hello, Dean."

I smiled. "Hey, Cas. You had me pretty worried."

"You needn't worry about me."

"Bullshit," I scoffed.

He sighed and peered up at me, the afternoon light brightening his cerulean eyes. While the color was as bright as ever, I could see exhaustion haunting the depths of his eyes. I surprised both of us by laying down next to him. He definitely wasn't in any shape to hear my sappy ass love confession, so I'd let him rest, and then we'd get there.

"Stay," he requested shyly.

I squeezed his hand. "I'm not going anywhere. Go to sleep."

He complied and fell right to sleep, plastering himself to my side as soon as he was out for the count. Instead of flinching away like I had when we'd all had to share a bed that time, I draped an arm over his waist and brushed my lips against the top of his head. Falling for him may have turned me into a girl, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

He was my angel, my Castiel. My Cas. That fact alone was enough to lull me into a sleep that held the sweetest of dreams.

"_My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to_

_Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small_

_You never need to carry more than you can hold_

_And while you're out there getting where you're getting to_

_I hope you know somebody loves you."_


	18. The Secrets That You Keep

**Author's Note:**

**Destiel fluff ahead! The line "Every sense in me was heightened, there was nothing left inside to rearrange" is taken from Speak In Tongues by Placebo because I saw a very awesome Destiel video to it that came to mind while writing this. The next chapter is where they all four go to Bobby's, so expect some shenanigans! Also, there will be more Sabriel fluff soon. This chapter is dedicated to every wonderful person that has reviewed so far, you're all too awesome for words :D Lyrics from Secrets That You Keep by Mud. **

* * *

"_If you could give me just one more chance_

_I'm the fool who broke up our romance_

_We used to have so many plans_

_Then I went and let you slip right through my hands_

_I'll go searching till I find_

_A way to get you back and make you mine."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

When I finally awoke, all was dark and quiet. I looked around to see that other than myself and my soul mate, the room was empty. My grace warmed contently at the feel of Dean laying next to me. He was awake, doing nothing but watching me. My pulse quickened at the feel of his eyes resting on me. I was on my back, and he was propped on one elbow, staring down at me with a calmness I had never before seen.

"I'm so sorry I let him hurt you," he whispered, brushing my hair from my face.

The affectionate gesture had my heart skipping a beat. "It is not your fault."

"It's pretty fucking pathetic that it took you almost dying to open my eyes."

"What do you mean?"

I repressed my natural naïve streak. It would only result in pain to get my hopes up, to allow myself to think that perhaps there was something in him that cared for me than more than a friend. My efforts turned out to be futile, because once he gently rested his forehead against mine, all rationality was shot to hell.

"Cas, believe it or not, there's a reason I've been such a dick to you."

"There is?"

He chucked. "Okay, I totally deserved that. I just didn't want to admit I cared about someone that was a, uh, dude."

Disbelief colored my tone. "My gender was the only thing withholding your affections?"

"Yeah…but now I'm just trying to, well…apologize."

A hint of Gabriel's sarcasm had rubbed off on me. "Dean Winchester is apologizing?"

"Who woulda thought?" he joked back.

"I take it you know we are soulmates."

He nodded. The moment of silence seemed to stretch on forever. We were so close that every time he breathed, I could feel his exhale against my face. My hand reached up to grasp the back of his neck on its own accord. Dean hesitated, unsure of what to do. I knew exactly what to do.

No longer fearing his reaction, I closed the space between us and pressed my lips to his. A sense of completion filled me as he sighed in contentment. Our kiss was slow, sensual, and too perfect for verbal description. He slid one hand under my shirt to lightly caress my side in a touch that had me shivering pleasantly.

I turned him over onto his back, still kissing him slowly. When I ran my tongue along his lower lip, he immediately parted them for me. He moaned deeply as I explored his mouth. We parted for breath, and he started placing gentle, open mouthed kisses down my neck. Every sense in me was heightened, there was nothing left inside to rearrange.

The confession slipped out of me before I could stop it. "Dean, I lo-"

"You kids conscious yet? We gotta go get the Ferrari!"

I loved my brother, I honestly and truly did, but he had the worst timing imaginable. Dean looked like he was ready to murder Gabriel single-handedly as I slid off the irritated hunter and onto my feet. I shot him an apologetic glance before straightening my disheveled clothes. My hair was probably in shambles and my breathing was ragged, but I at least looked somewhat presentable.

I opened the door, not missing the way Gabriel arched an eyebrow. "Should I come back later?"

I said "No" at exactly the same time Dean said "Yes."

"Come on, Gabriel, let's go," I said, taking his arm and pulling him down the hallway.

Once we were outside, he grinned and said, "Spill."

"Spill what?"

"'Spill' means tell me what happened, genius."

"We engaged in oral contact."

He sighed. "It's called kissing. So, is he any good?"

"What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ does he have Sam's talented tongue or is Sammy just special?"

"Gabriel!"

"What?"

I glared at him as he transported us to where the Ferrari was. Ignoring his frown, I snatched the keys from his jacket pocket and got behind the wheel. He scowled but didn't object. When he opened his mouth to resume his earlier interrogation, I turned out the radio and drowned him out with Bon Jovi. I softly hummed along to "Living On a Prayer" and wondered if Dean would mind me dedicating the song to him. The chorus especially reminded me of our relationship and the difficulties we would inevitably face.

Gabriel turned the music down a little. "Okay, time for a serious big brother conversation."

"Those never end well. Last time you told me about the canaries and the wasps."

He banged his head into the window. "_Birds_ and the _bees_, idiot."

"Oh."

"Anyways, we need to talk. I'm worried."

"About what?"

"What if Sam and Dean find out about what really happened to their father? I didn't outright murder him, but I might as well have."

"That isn't true."

"Well that's neither here nor there, but that doesn't change the fact they'd hate us if they found out."

A vulnerability that I'd only recently developed was clear in my voice. "I can't lose Dean."

"What, you think I could even function without Sam? Not hardly. They're our soulmates for a reason. Now that we have them, we'll never be right without them."

"What if they find out about John?"

He sighed and stared out the window. "With any luck…they never will."

"_Now baby, I'm losing sleep over the secrets that you keep_

_Oh baby, I'm losing sleep over the secrets that you keep_

_I lie awake at nights not knowing where you are_

_You know it don't seem right that you could be so far away from me_

_Oh, the secrets that you keep."_


	19. How Strong Do You Think I Am

***Lyrics from How Strong Do You Think I Am by Alexz Johnson. The Gabriel/Dean moment will be in the next chapter since this one was Sam's P.O.V.**

"_Just because I want someone when I'm alone_

_Doesn't mean I'm helpless, that I can't stand on my own."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"So, are you and Cas…official?" I asked Dean.

"Official? C'mon man, what is this, middle school?"

I laughed. "I was just wondering."

"If you think we're goin' on a double date with you and Gabriel, you're nuts."

"Yeah, I didn't intend on asking. None of us are really the dinner date types anyway."

He grinned and leaned back on the bed, folding his hands under his head. "You do know that I'm gonna have to give Gabriel the 'I'm the big brother and if you hurt Sammy I'll kick your ass' speech, right?"

I groaned and buried my face in the pillow. "Dean!"

"Get over it, little brother. Dad's not here to make that speech, so I'm going to."

"Good thing archangels aren't scared off easily."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Our banter was cut off by the sound of a car pulling up. My heart skipped a little; Gabriel was back. Maybe Dean was right to call me a girl. He didn't have all that much room to talk though, because he peered out the window and smiled when he saw the Ferrari pull up. They'd been gone for a few hours because they had to drive the car back here and we were both glad to see our angels again.

They got out of the Ferrari, and I had intended on giving Gabriel a quick welcoming kiss, but being the exuberant little creature that he was, he instead leapt right into my arms without so much as an instance of hesitation. I smiled and kissed him lightly. The kiss was simple and quick, unlike the slow one we'd first exchanged or the many heated ones we'd shared when he transported me to the grounds of Brevard college.

"You're short," I teased.

He looked down at where his feet were dangling several inches off the ground. "No, you're too tall."

"Will you two girls get a move on? We gotta hit the road," Dean said.

I looked over at where he was standing with Cas tucked under his arm but didn't comment. Hell, he'd just now gotten comfortable with the fact he was bisexual, mocking him about it probably wasn't that good of an idea. Gabriel would skin me alive if I messed up Dean and Cas' newfound relationship. Soulmate or so soulmate, Gabriel would rip anyone that messed with his little brother's happiness to shreds. Then again, I'd do the same for Dean.

"Hey Dean, why don't you ride with me this time?" Gabriel asked.

He was up to something, I could tell.

"And leave who to drive my Impala?" he scoffed. "No offense Sammy, but there is not a single person in this parking lot that I trust with my baby for that long."

Cas gave him sad puppy dog eyes, and he softened immediately. "Okay, okay fine."

He tossed Cas the keys, who gave him a quick thank you kiss in return. Gabriel smirked and wriggled out of my arms. I shot him a warning "You better not be plotting against my brother" look, and the mischievous grin he gave me did nothing to ease my nerves. I gave Dean a sympathetic look before getting in the passenger's side of the Impala.

"Any idea what Gabriel wants with Dean?" I asked as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"To make a number of intimidating death threats, or so he told me."

"Him too? So does Dean! Big brothers can be such pains in the ass sometimes."

He may have been smiling just a little, but it was hard to tell. "You are preaching to the orchestra."

"Choir, Cas."

"Oh."

I laughed and turned on the radio, hunting down a station that played the kind of music I liked. Very rarely did I have a chance to listen to my music instead of the classic rock Dean played all the time. Gabriel had been more than happy to let me listen to it when we first rode in the Ferrari together, but Dean wasn't nearly as compromising.

"Pictures Of You" by The Last Goodnight was soon playing from the speakers. I hummed along, glad that Cas didn't seem to mind the music. He seemed rather taken with the classic music Dean loved so much. Speaking of Dean, I assumed he was telepathically giving Cas directions to Bobby's, because Cas seemed to know exactly where to go.

"Sam, I was hoping perhaps you could offer your assistance…" he started hesitantly some time later.

"Sure Cas, what's up?"

"It is February tenth."

"Yeah…?"

"The fourteenth is Valentine's Day, correct?"

I was pretty sure I knew where this was heading. "Yep."

"As far as I am aware, it is better known as the holiday specific for those in love."

I nodded, barely stifling laughter.

"What do you think I should get Dean for Valentine's Day?"

Finally, I couldn't hold back the laughter. I laughed until my ribs hurt. Cas watched me with confusion, unaware that the thought of a guy, a nerdy little angel to top it off, celebrating Valentine's Day with my brother was one of the funniest mental images I'd gotten in a long, _long_ time. It was several minutes before the fit of uncontrollable laughter subsided.

"Not flowers. Or a card. Dean hates clichéd gifts. Try a CD, or maybe Doctor Sexy on DVD."

Cas narrowed his eyes. "Who is this 'Doctor Sexy' that you speak of?"

It took me a moment to realize he was jealous. "He's just a guy on TV, Cas!"

"It sounds as if Dean if rather partial to him."

"Okay, so um, no Doctor Sexy." It was taking every inch of restraint I had not to burst out laughing again.

I considered mocking Dean about his boyfriend asking for advice on what to get him for Valentine's Day, but I had every intention of buying a present -or more appropriately, presents- for Gabriel, so it wasn't really my place to make fun of him. Instead, I left Cas to mull over the advice I'd given him and then leaned my head back, sleeping for the rest of the drive to Bobby's.

* * *

I recognized the lips pressing against my neck. They drug from the delicate skin covering my carotid artery all the way down to my clavicle. The kisses continued down my bare chest, his fingers unsnapping my jeans with ease. Sweat thinly covered my body as he returned his lips to mine.

I yanked his jacket and unbuttoned shirt from his shoulders none too gently. My fingers wove into his blond hair, which was usually combed back, but was now in a state of disarray that was outright sexy paired with his heated gaze. Teeth scraped against my neck, and I arched back to give him complete access.

I dug my nails into his back as he worked my jeans down my legs, eliciting a softly moaned "Sam" from him.

He trailed his fingers down my chest, and again said "Sam." This time it was less passionate, more insistent. Gabriel's hands stilled and I found myself confused. A deeper, gruffer voice said my name, and a hand shook my shoulder. The new voice belonged to Castiel. I blinked, disoriented, and…

…Woke up.

With a gasp, my eyes flew open and I almost banged my head into the roof of the Impala as I sat up straighter than my spine was comfortable with. We were parked in front of Bobby's and Cas was peering at me worriedly. Gabriel's Ferrari was parked next to us. I wasn't sure I could even look my angel in the eyes after the vivid fantasy/dream I'd just had.

"Sweet dreams, Sammy?" drawled a sultry voice.

I turned to see the passenger's side door open, Gabriel leaning against it, smirking. Oh hell. He _knew_. A flush made its way across my face as I fervently prayed for a hole to open up so I could crawl into it. Of course he knew. We were soulmates, and he could see inside my head, apparently even when I was asleep.

"I, um, I was just going to, um…"

"Jump my bones? Yeah, we should try it for real sometime."

And _of course_ Dean had to walk up on the very end of that conversation. I sighed and leaned my head back against the seat.

I was never going to hear the end of it.

"_Should I be afraid to dream about you?_

_And if you feel the same, watcha gonna do?_

_How far can we go before we break? How long can I wait?_

_How strong do you think I am, how much can I take of this?"_


	20. Maybe I'm Too Tough To Fall

**Author's Note:**

**Angst, older brother threats, Bobby, and a small cliffhanger ahead! The next chapter is from Gabriel's P.O.V. so the end of this one won't be resolved until chapter twenty-two, sorry about that. Oh, and I have a few fan fiction to recommend you all! It's pretty strange, and when I say strange I mean Cas is a half human hybrid creature thing, but it is amazing. **

**It's called Specimen 001, rated M for awesome creepiness and sexual content, and it's by AlreadyPainfullyGone. If morbid stuff creeps you out then avoid it at all costs, but I am personally hooked on it and would recommend it to anyone looking for a great Destiel fic. More amazing fics that are total must reads are listed on my profile :D Oh, and the lyrics are from Fade To Black by Alexz Johnson.**

**Thanks so much to everyone that has read and reviewed so far!**

* * *

"_What makes me so bullet proof? _

_What makes me act so removed?"_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Okay, so we have this straight, right? If you hurt Sammy, I'm gonna fry you extra crispy," I said to Gabriel.

"Understood. And if you hurt Cas, I'm going to rip your genitals off and cram them down your throat."

I winced. "Yep, got it loud and clear."

"Good."

We'd stopped in front of Bobby's door to go over what we'd talked about in the car just to make sure both of us had our facts straight. He knew I would kill him for hurting Sam, I knew he would kill me for hurting Cas. With those facts established, I walked in and left him to tease Sam. Cas was watching them with amusement.

"Hey Bobby!" I yelled.

He came out of the kitchen and smiled wryly. "Took ya long enough to visit, boy."

"Well, we brought company. Remember the hunters we told you about?"

"Gabriel, get off me!"

I turned at the sound of Sam's voice, who had Gabriel latched onto his back like a blond, irritating monkey. Cas came in and stood beside me while Bobby looked between Sam and Gabriel. They had the loving familiarity of a couple, which of course, they were. I cleared my throat but it was ignored by the archangel and my Sasquatch brother. Speaking of archangels...

"Oh and, uh, they're not just hunters. They're angels," I added.

"I thought you said that angels were spineless, feathery dicks with no minds of their own?"

"Cas and Gabriel are different."

"All other angels are assholes because once Cas and me were created, there wasn't any awesome left," Gabriel said.

Sam rolled his eyes. "So does all of your ego fit in that body, or does it have to have its own vessel?"

"Ouch. Good one, Sammy." There was no offense in his voice.

"So Bobby, how about some dinner?" I asked quickly before Bobby noticed how couple-ish they sounded.

"Do I look like your maid, princess?"

"Lose the baseball cap and you might just be able to pull it off."

"Idjit."

Cas stood silently at my side as I bickered with Bobby. Sam and Gabriel were bantering over something or another, probably still about Gabriel getting off of Sam's back. So far Sam hadn't won that argument. Bobby sighed and led all four of us into the kitchen, where a chicken casserole was waiting. I almost drooled at the sight of it. Bobby may not know fashion sense from a hole in the ground, but _damn_ that man could cook.

"Thank you for inviting us into your home, Mister Singer," Cas said.

Gabriel shook his head and slid from my brother's back. "Castiel, you sound like a thirteen year old little girl meeting her boyfriend's parents."

"I am far older than thirteen, but technically Dean is my-"

I kicked Cas in the ankle to silence him. He threw a confused look in my direction but shut up. We'd only been here for fifteen minutes, Bobby needed time to adjust to the fact we'd befriended angels before we dropped the bomb that we were dating them. Actually I didn't really like the term "dating," but it sounded better than saying "Hey Bobby, could you pass the potatoes? Oh, and by the way, we're soulmates with Thing One and Thing Two. Thought ya might like to know." Na, I didn't see that going over too well.

We sat around the table and while Sam, Bobby, Gabriel and me dug into our food, Cas delicately ate his with perfect posture. He had abnormally good manners. I had to teach him that when he was in a house full of dudes, manners were irrelevant. We soon moved on to dessert, which was a huge chocolate cake that Gabriel manifested. He'd gotten more comfortable about using his powers now that we'd banished Zachariah temporarily.

Once, Gabriel tried to take Sam's hand on the table, but Sam subtly withdrew it and left a slightly hurt archangel staring at him confusedly. Gabriel returned to his dessert with an unreadable expression. Thankfully Bobby hadn't noticed the small interaction.

After we finished eating and went our separate ways, I walked outside to sit on the Impala. It felt good to relax after how stressful the last couple of weeks had been. Leaning back against the glass, I took a long pull of the beer I'd brought with me. The sun was dipping low and leaving the sky in a variety of oranges and yellows. Someone sat beside me. I knew without having to look that it was Cas.

"Hey Cas."

"Hello, Dean."

"Somethin' wrong?"

I peered over at him and saw that he was staring at me. "Are you and Sam ashamed of us? Of Gabriel and I?"

"Huh?"

"You and your brother needn't show us constant affection, but you wouldn't even touch us in front of Robert. I merely wanted to know if I had done something to displease you."

I sighed. "Cas, you're great, okay? You haven't been anything but perfectly polite sense we got here and Bobby already seems to like you. He even seems to like Gabriel."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Bobby thinks I'm straight as a stick, that I wouldn't touch a man with a ten foot pole. Once he finds out I'm in love with a guy, he's going to be expecting it to be permanent."

"You…love me?"

"Um, yeah, but we'll talk about that later."

"So what you're saying is that you don't intend on this being permanent."

I groaned in frustration and got off the Impala. He wisely chose not to follow me. "We've been together for what, a little over a day? Come on man, how am I supposed to know if this is going to be permanent? And do not feed me that 'soulmates' crap."

There was no missing the hurt on his face when he responded. "If you are being honest when you say you love me, then why wouldn't this be permanent?"

"Well for starters, I don't know if you love me too and I'm not about to screw this up by asking, and two, everyone I've ever cared about ends up hurt!"

We were both yelling now. "Of course I love you, Dean! I loved you from the second I laid eyes on you." He stepped closer, and I had to resist the urge to kiss him he was so close. "You think you're the only one that hurts everyone they care about?"

"Alright, fine. Give me an example of someone you cared about that died because of you," I growled, no longer yelling.

He looked down as if the ground was particularly fascinating, and when he replied, his voice was a gruff whisper. The two words he said shook me right down to my core, down to my soul. I didn't know if I wanted to scream or cry. Fury took over me at the words, heedless of the regret written all over his face.

When his deep, dark secret came out, it was almost anticlimactic. It felt like we should be on a TV show, with some angsty music playing in the background and the audience holding their breaths, awaiting the outcome of the confession. But no, we were standing in front of an old house and a classic muscle car, with no audience but each other and our inanimate surroundings.

The two words he spoke would undoubtedly change the course of our relationship, maybe even our lives.

"John Winchester."

"_Maybe I'm too scared to call_

_Maybe I'm too tough to fall_

_Everything you are, reminds me of_

_Everything you are, fades to black_

_Every time I see your face, screaming the secrets we share_

_We fade to black."_


	21. It's You and Me Against The World

***Lyrics from Stuttering by Fefe Dobson**

"_I tried to believe you but something is wrong_

_You won't look in my eyes, tell me what's going on_

_It's you and me against the world_

_That's what you said, that's what you said."_

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

After dinner, Sam and Bobby had left to go catch up, Cas had followed Dean outside, and me? Well, I was in Sam's room. It didn't even look like his room anymore. I'd done one hell of a number on it. Lit only by vanilla candles that gave off of a warm fragrance, rose petals scattered all over the floor, piano music playing from the stereo, the bed turned down. Oh yes, I knew how to set a mood. Smiling, I gave myself a once over in the mirror. I looked excellent in the suit I'd manifested.

"Gabriel, are you in here?" Sam called as he walked in…and stopped.

His eyes widened as he took in the room. Then his eyes strayed to me, in my dark red dress shirt, dress slacks, and unbuttoned suit jacket. I held a single red rose and my best charming leer. It looked like confusion and desire were fighting for dominance over his expression. Turns out they compromised and were both expressed equally.

"Um, Gabriel…what's with the makeover?"

I walked over and caressed the side of his face with the silken petals of the rose, my voice a husky whisper. "I've been in your head, Sammy. This is every fantasy you've ever had come to life."

"That's not true." He said it too quickly. It was a lie and we both knew it.

I continued to run the soft petals over his face. "It's you and me, Sam. That's all that matters."

"If you don't want this…" Knowing I had the upper hand, that I'd caught him while his guard was down, I leaned up and whispered in his ear, "Then tell me no."

With that, I laid the rose down on the dresser and grabbed him by his shirt, using my superhuman strength to knock him down onto the bed. His eyes watched my every movement as I unbuttoned the maroon dress shirt. He had yet to stop me. I slowly slid the suit jacket off and let it drop to the floor. Still no protests.

Finally, he managed words. "What about Bobby and Dean and Cas…" he trailed off.

"The door was rigged to lock the minute you walked in. No one is going to interrupt," I assured him, straddling his waist.

"Are you sure? That you want this, I mean?"

I looked at him like he'd grown two heads and a tail. "Seriously, Sammy? This place is decked out like the cover of a romance novel. Trust me, I'm sure."

"You know I love you, right?" The words were spoke with an affectionate smile.

"Yeah. It's good to hear it out loud though."

I leaned down and kissed him, his fingers wrapping themselves in my hair. He used his free hand to push my shirt off and toss it aside. Heat flushed through my body, our soulmate bond strengthening so much that I couldn't even feel Castiel's grace from the sheer mental weight of it. But he was with Dean, meaning he was safe, so I allowed myself to feel only Sam and the sensations numbing all coherent thoughts that had hoped to crowd my mind.

The dominant streak I had been working to bring out finally sprung forward, Sam letting out a low growl as he flipped me over onto my back. I pulled his shirt over his head, flinging it carelessly aside. Technically I could have just snapped and had our clothes off, but I was having too much fun watching him struggle with my dress slacks. I was pretty sure they were torn by the time he finally got me out of them.

"And Sam?" I added. "I love you too."

* * *

"Damn…archangels…all…to hell," Sam panted hours later.

I smirked. "What's wrong, can't keep up?"

"Well three rounds later, I'm a little bit tired."

"I guess that means round four is out of the question?"

"Gabriel!"

"What?"

He rolled his eyes and lazily ran his fingers through my hair. We were laying side by side, turned to face each other. I'd never admit it, but I was so tired I could have fallen asleep right there. He looked like he was having issues keeping his eyes open. Smiling fondly, I ran my hand over the side of his face, the simple but soothing motion lulling him to sleep.

As I drifted off to sleep as well, I felt my wings slowly fold from my back and envelop us in a soft embrace. They were large and wrapped around both of us, the candlelight catching the subtle bronze highlights and making them shine beautifully. All angel wings were beautiful, but the wings of an archangel were stunning to the point of being majestic.

My grace was filled with unbelievable contentment, and I could feel that his soul was in the same state. We were finally joined in the truest sense of the word. He was _mine_, now and forever. We'd staked a claim on each other that no one could remove. Sam Winchester knew every inch of me, from my grace, to my body, to my heart. I knew him just as well.

A banging on the door jolted me out of my almost sleep. Sam blinked tiredly as Dean's voice came from outside.

"Sam, get the hell up, we're leaving!"

"Why?" Sam asked, yawning.

"These fucking angels are just like every other feathery bastard we've ever met. They've lied, and faked, and we are _leaving_." His voice had dropped to a feral growl at the end.

Sam propped himself on one elbow and stared down at me confusedly. I felt as if my heart was in my feet. There was only one possible thing that could have Dean this angry. My heartbeat got so fast that I started almost hyperventilating, and ignoring Dean's yelling, Sam wrapped his arms around me and tried to get me calmed down. My wings were tense as a wire and drawn close to my back. He spoke over my shoulder to his infuriated brother.

"Dean, what's wrong?"

The older Winchester's voice was heavily cold and sarcastic. "Oh nothing much, just that they got our father _killed_."

"What?"

Sam went stiff. His arms were rigid around me. "G-Gabriel, is that true?" he whispered.

Tears were coming to my eyes. "Sammy, I'm so sorry…"

"_I don't, don't wanna hear you're sorry now_

_The best thing you can do for me is just spit it out_

_I don't, don't wanna hear you're sorry now_

_Stop, stop stuttering your words, it's only making you look worse."_


	22. Our Conversations Turn To Screams

***Lyrics from Losing You by Otto's Daughter**

"_You slam the door, walk away_

_Our conversations turn to screams_

_What happened to you and me_

_And the way things used to be?"_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

Dean left me standing there. I explained what had happened all those years ago, and with a look filled with so much hate that it broke my heart, he turned and walked away. From me. From _us_. I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter, that I would be fine. In spite of how naïve I was, even I knew that was a lie. I wasn't going to be okay. Rain began falling, soaking my hair and clothes. I didn't move from my position. My body was whole, yet I felt broken. Part of me feared I would look down and see myself lying in shattered pieces on the ground.

Arguing reached my ears, and shortly after, the Winchester brothers as well as Bobby and Gabriel came out of the house. The pouring rain had their clothes molded to their bodies within only a few moments. I walked over, ready to defend my brother. They were all yelling. Sam looked like he was on the verge of crying.

"Gabriel, why the hell didn't you tell me? I trusted you!" Sam screamed furiously.

"Sammy-"

"_Don't _call me that."

"Sam, I'm sorry, okay? I know I shouldn't have lied, but I knew you would hate me once you found out!"

Bobby didn't seem to know what was going on, and I walked over to catch him up, but Dean grabbed me by the lapels of my coat and yanked me back. "Don't get anywhere near him, you son of a bitch."

"I would never hurt him. Had I been able to protect your father…"

I didn't even manage to complete the sentence before Dean drew his hand back and then brought it forwards in a hard punch to my face. Physically it didn't hurt a bit, but the fact alone that he'd used violence on me hurt more than exterior pain ever could. The mere mention of his father had infuriated him. Ignoring the revulsion that poured through his side of the bond when I did so, I leaned up and gave him the softest of kisses.

"Goodbye, Dean."

Knowing Gabriel was too wrapped up in his argument to pay attention to anything else, I disappeared without another word.

Brevard held too many memories of Dean, so I instead chose Ellen Harvelle's bar. It still held countless memories, but it also had something I desperately needed. Alcohol. Ash was sitting at the bar with a beer when I arrived. Seeing my dejected expression, he patted the barstool next to him in an invitation for me to sit. I complied.

"Dude, you're lookin' pretty rough."

I sighed. "It has been an unpleasant day."

He passed me his bottle, and though I generally didn't like the taste of beer, I still took a drink and handed it back to him. Jo was working the bar and brought me the whiskey I requested. The bar wasn't busy, and like Ash she saw the pain written all over my face. She sat on the edge of the bar and peered at me worriedly.

"What's wrong, Cas?" she asked. I flinched at the use of Dean's nickname.

"Yeah man, spill," Ash added.

Looking between them, I saw that they were genuinely concerned. They were like my extended family even though I barely knew them. I overheard Ellen on the phone, presumably with Bobby. It wasn't my intentions to eavesdrop, but she was speaking so loud that it was impossible not to hear her. Ash and Jo also paused to listen.

"Well you tell those idiot boys of yours to get their heads out of their asses! I don't even know those angels all that well, but Dean and Sam blamin' them for John? That's stupid even for them! They'd been on Earth what, a week? How the hell were they supposed to know that the other angels would come and fry John extra crispy? Dammit Bobby, beat some sense into those two idiots."

I could barely believe it. Ellen Harvelle, long time friend of the Winchesters, was standing up for my brother and I. Jo and Ash grinned, and for the first time sense the very first day I met Gabriel in Heaven, I felt like I had a family. These people cared about me in spite of my flaws. That was the truest form of family I could possibly imagine.

"How can the two of you even stand to be in my presence? I assume you know what Ellen and Bobby are speaking of."

Jo rolled her eyes and took my hand, giving in an affectionate squeeze just like a sister would. "That's their father, of course they're going to go off the deep end. But Cas, it's not your fault, and it's not your brother's fault. Dean and Sam just need some time to calm down."

"How can you be so sure?"

She smiled. "Because I know the Winchester brothers like the back of my hand. We practically grew up together."

"Here's to little Cas' first fight with his boyfriend," Ash said, holding up his beer.

I knew he meant it jokingly, so I offered him a weak smile and clinked my glass against the neck of the beer bottle. I downed the shot in one go. Jo's words comforted me, but several shots of whiskey later, losing Dean still didn't hurt any less. It was like someone had taken my heart and torn it through my chest. The gaping hole refused to be filled no matter what I did.

"'Nother one please," I slurred.

Jo laughed. "Cas, you are _drunk_."

More of Gabriel's sarcasm had rubbed off on me that I particularly liked. "Well what are bars for, staying sober? To think that I have spent my entire existence misinformed of their purpose."

"Boy, you need to stop while you're behind," Ellen commented, having finally gotten off the phone with Bobby.

I peered into her mind through my drunken haze. "When are you going to tell Robert that you have formed a romantic attachment to him? You need not be nervous, he feels the same way."

"Alright, time to get you home," she said, flushing to the roots of her hair.

Jo and Ash were laughing hysterically, the latter even drunker than I was. Ellen had gotten embarrassed and disappeared, so I snagged the bottle of whiskey from the bar, left a large wad of manifested money on the counter, and stumbled outside. I was so heavily intoxicated that I could barely see straight. The bar was closing down and the few customers got into their cars and pulled out of the parking lot. Jo and Ellen bid me goodnight as they left. I nodded to them and sat down against the wall, taking another drink of whiskey.

My mind was finally so numb that I could barely even remember Dean's name, let alone the pain I had felt. I closed my eyes and savored the sweet feeling of feeling absolutely nothing. My thoughts were starting to make less and less sense. I sat the empty bottle down next to me and dropped my head back against the wall. Perhaps I would just sleep here for the night. Ellen and Jo wouldn't mind.

Then, I felt a stinging in my arm, and I was forced into a state of unconsciousness.

"_I hate to lose you, say goodbye_

_You run away, crawl back inside_

_We used to think so much alike_

_It's not the same, you're not the same_

_I used to dance in with the rain_

_I don't want to believe it_

_You're near me, I can't feel you…"_


	23. What Creates My Own Madness

**Author's Note:**

***Warning: Next chapters contain implied non-con, nothing graphic but still something to avoid if it makes you uncomfortable***

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to Sensei's Little Thunder Ninja, who apparently squeaked when she saw that I'd posted chapter twenty-two. That made me very happy. I know that in this chapter Sam should probably be a lot angrier than he is, but he was always the softer one, so yeah. Lyrics are from Getting Away With Murder by Papa Roach.**

**P.S. A link to the fanart and the trailer for this story is on my profile :-)**

* * *

_"Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness, I need to calculate_

_What creates my own madness_

_And I'm addicted to your punishment, and you're the master_

_And I am waiting for disaster."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Sam, I'm sorry! Please just listen to me…"

"Why, so you can lie to me again?"

I had gone to walk away from our fight, but he was following me, pleading with me. Without waiting for his reply, I continued walking through the rain, getting further and further away from Bobby's. Rain beat down against my skin. I cursed the weakness I had for the archangel behind me, because most of me still wanted to scream at him until I was blue in the face, but there was a fraction of my mind that wouldn't stop replaying the way we'd made love only a few hours ago.

He'd been so vulnerable, so passionate. It made it unfairly hard to doubt that he loved me. Then again, it was hard to doubt that he _didn't_ love me after his web of lies finally fell apart. I had no idea what to think anymore. Dean was still sitting on the porch fuming, Bobby had recently gotten off the phone with Ellen, and Gabriel walked quickly to keep up with my much longer stride. Any other time I may have mocked him about his lack of height.

"You hate me." It wasn't a question, it was a statement that he whispered more to himself that anyone else.

I gave a bitter laugh. "That's exactly the problem," I said, suddenly whirling around to face him. "I hate it that you lied, and I hate it that you're still standing here even though I told you to leave me the hell alone, I even hate the way you're looking at me right now!"

He looked more hurt with every exclamation, but I wasn't done yet.

"But you know what I hate the most, Gabriel?"

He peered up at me from where he'd been staring at the ground, obviously waiting for the answer.

"I hate that I _don't_ hate you. That I _can't_ hate you."

His eyes suddenly snapped to mine. I was still furious, and he reached out to me, but dropped his hand before his skin came into contact with mine. We stood in an uneasy silence. Neither of us were sure how to fill the chasm between us. Finally, after our gazes locked for many long moments, I looked away.

"I need some time to think, okay? I just need some space." My voice was still hard and cold.

When I looked up, he had disappeared. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

I clutched my jaw, which was sore from where Dean had decked me. Telling him that I couldn't find it in me to hate Gabriel definitely wasn't my smartest idea. He was hell bent on hating our angels -_the_ angels, I corrected myself- for the rest of his life from the looks of it. He stared at me, seething. I remained silent. We stood in my room, which was vacant of Gabriel's makeover save for the single red rose occupying the dresser. I absently ran my fingers over the petals and all too vividly recalled the way he'd caressed my face with them. The bittersweet memory made my dilemma all the harder.

He'd been in involved with my father's death and nearly gotten my mother killed too, and by all means I should write him off for good, but the thought of life without him was dark and gloomy. His bright personality was like its own ray of light, illuminating every dark moment. Now that I was calmer, I couldn't exactly blame him for John and almost Mary. He couldn't have known that the angels would find him that soon.

Suddenly a wave of agony came over me, so strong that it brought me to my knees. Forgetting our previous fight, Dean rushed to my side and I thought I distantly heard him asking what was wrong. My heart was breaking into too many pieces to answer him. It was like someone had taken every bit of happiness from me and crushed it under their foot like some kind of insect. The emotions weren't mine. They were Gabriel's.

"Dean…something's wrong…with Gabriel," I gasped.

"Good!"

I brought my elbow up into his jaw, sending him reeling backwards from the hard impact. My protective streak had come back with full force. Right now something was tragically wrong, and it was a hell of a lot more important than the fact he'd lied to me about something that had happened over two decades ago. Whatever was bringing him so much grief, it was happening _right now_.

As if on cue, Gabriel appeared in the center of the room.

He was pale to the point of being ashen, and I had to scramble to my feet and catch him before he fell over. We came down to the ground, his back laid across my knee. I pushed aside the anger I still felt at him in favor of asking what was wrong. He placed a DVD in my hand. I could feel through our bond that his body's weakening was his vessel's way of preparing for a massive adrenaline rush. Within moments, he wouldn't be my former lover. He would be the fearsome weapon of Heaven that he'd been born as. An archangel. A warrior.

I put the DVD into my laptop's disk drive and immediately knew what was wrong with Gabriel. On the screen was Castiel, chained down to a table and stripped from the waist up to reveal long gashes covering his chest. The wounds were obviously inflicted by an angel's blade, it was the only thing that could break their skin. Gabriel was standing next to me, his eyes flickering white with barely restrained grace as the archangel inside of the misleadingly small vessel fought to break free.

Probably more than a dozen angels surrounded Cas, Zachariah standing at the center. I heard Cas begging for Gabriel not to come after him, that it was too risky. Dean was standing on my other side, trying to mask the disgust on his face at seeing what they'd done to his angel. It was a failed attempt. He looked like he could rip Zachariah limb from limb by simply looking at him.

I looked at the corner of the screen and saw that somehow it was a live stream. Technically it was impossible to put a live stream on a DVD and I didn't even know how they'd gotten it to Gabriel, but apparently they'd infused it with a little of their angel magic to defy technology. A sick feeling twisted my gut when they started hacking away at the remainder of his clothes.

I knew exactly what was going to happen. If we didn't find him, _fast_…they were going to rape him right in front of us.

"_I feel irrational, so confrontational_

_To tell the truth I am getting away with murder_

_It isn't possible to never tell the truth_

_But the reality is I'm getting away with murder."_


	24. Anthem Of The Angels

***Lyrics from Anthem of the Angels by Breaking Benjamin. Dedicated to Suzy because she's too awesome for possible verbal description :D**

"_Days go on forever, but I have not left your side_

_We can chase the dark together, if you go then so will I."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Where the hell are those bastards?" Sam yelled.

Gabriel turned to him, jaw clenched and eyes flashing. "I. Don't. Know. If I did, do you really think I'd be standing here staring at a _computer screen_?" His screaming was so loud and his grace was so strong that one of the windows cracked.

I crossed my arms and started pacing. After thirty years of learning to keep my composure I sure as hell wasn't going to let my façade crack, but something inside of me felt pained, violated. Overexposed. The thing that really sickened me was that Cas was feeling all of that, I was just getting the backlash.

Sam took a screen cap of the video and put it into an enhancement software program, zooming in and looking for any details that would tell us where he was. His finger tapped against the laptop's touchpad to zoom it in closer and closer. Finally, his eyes lit up with recognition. Gabriel and I immediately leaned closer to the small screen.

"Dean, look at the picture on the floor," Sam said.

Once the image was zoomed in so close that it lost resolution, the software cloned the pixels to restore quality, so I could easily make out the image. It was a man and wife, along with their son. John, Mary, and Dean Winchester. Mom had moved from the house where Dad had died, leaving behind only a picture. Sam looked at Gabriel, and then we all three looked at each other.

I sighed. "They're in our old house."

Sam unsheathed the manifested angel killing blade Gabriel had once given him, and I pulled mine out of its leg holster. Lies or no lies, we couldn't just sit here and watch Cas be both physically and sexually abused. They were already knifing his most sensitive areas when we'd turned it off to deduce the location. It wouldn't be long before the rape started...assuming we weren't already too late.

I scrawled a quick note to Bobby letting him know we'd gone to find Cas and felt the ground shift under me as Gabriel placed his fingers on mine and Sam's foreheads. The angels surrounding Cas looked up as we appeared a mere few feet from them. All light fixtures exploded in a flurry of sparks, an unknown glow illuminating Gabriel's wings, which were reflected on the wall behind him.

Cas was thoroughly chained down, his clothes slashed to the point that it was impossible to tell whether or not they'd - and the word sounded awful even in my mind - raped him before we found him. Dried blood covered some of the wounds while it poured freshly from others. The sense of being utterly violated reached me through our bond, giving me a very bad feeling about what the angels had managed when we'd turned the live stream off long enough to figure out their location.

"Well well well, it's the Three Stooges," Zachariah said.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and suddenly Zachariah was nothing but a pile of ashes on the floor. The other ten or so angels came forward, but Gabriel lifted a hand and they dropped to the ground, nothing but charred, empty corpses. Damn. Remind me to never piss Gabriel off. I was going to ask why the hell we weren't untying Cas, but lightning cracked overhead as another angel appeared in the room.

It wasn't over yet.

"Get away from my brother, you bastard," Gabriel growled.

The other angel smiled. "Little brother, why must you make things so hard? I didn't want to result to having Zachariah defile your darling Castiel, but you left me with no other options."

Gabriel snarled like an animal. "Piss off, Michael."

Sam and I flanked Gabriel, hands tight around our angel killing blades. We now knew they wouldn't do any good. Michael was an archangel. He could only be killed by another archangel…which left Gabriel as the sole creature that could destroy him. The wings of the two archangels that had been reflected on the walls solidified. Things were about to get ugly.

"This is your last warning, Michael. Release my brother."

The other archangel looked nothing more than mildly amused. "Or?"

"Or I will _end you_." Gabriel's tone made it obvious that he could, and would, follow through with the threat.

"I'd like to see you try," Michael replied coolly.

I pushed Sam down as the chains restraining Cas suddenly snapped, and the bloodied angel sat up. His eyes were almost solid white with the force of his grace. Knowing that deep down I was still angry with him, I repressed the pang of awe at the sheer power emanating from the angel. The wounds on his body healed as his wings arched up from his back. A blade appeared in his hand.

"Perhaps you should have had me restrained better," he said to Michael.

There was no missing the shock on Michael's face when he turned to see Cas up and at 'em again. Gabriel shared a proud smile with his little brother. Sam looked somewhat nervous in the presence of three extremely powerful celestial beings that were all out for blood. I would never, ever admit that I felt the same way.

Michael raised his hand and sent Gabriel across the room, crashing into a wall. Sam instinctively rushed to his side. Gabriel was obviously immobile, if only for a short amount of time. Michael didn't even bother with Cas, not seeming to view the younger angel as a threat.

It was a very bad mistake.

"Michael, I remember even from when I was a child in Heaven that you thought you knew everything there was to know about our species," Cas commented. "I have something that maybe even you don't know about."

The black haired archangel raised an eyebrow. "And what is that?"

With a soft rustling noise, Cas appeared directly in front of Michael. "When one spends excessive time with an archangel, that archangel's grace merges with the other angel's."

"Meaning?" Michael questioned, pretending to sound bored but looking rather frightened.

I knew what it meant even before Cas said it. He'd broken free of his restraints with more ease than he should have been able to, he held a blade that was extremely similar to Gabriel's, he practically vibrated with power…it was all starting to make sense. He'd kept a lot of secrets, but this was the one that shocked me more than any of the others. I never would have guessed had the pieces not suddenly fallen into place right before my eyes.

Castiel was an archangel.

"_There is nothing left of you, I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels _

_And say the last goodbye."_


	25. With These Broken Wings I'm Fallin'

***Lyrics from Savin' Me by Nickelback**

"_Prison gates won't open up for me_

_On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'_

_Oh, I reach for you_

_Well I'm terrified of these four walls_

_These iron bars can't hold my soul in."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

I could feel the power building up inside me. It was the most amazing and most terrifying thing I'd ever felt. My body felt like it was on fire. For a few moments, as nothing but the overwhelming grace of an archangel soared through my body, it was so strong that I forgot the events that would forever traumatize me. Those few precious seconds felt like so much longer.

_Dean, get Sam out of here and the two of you wait outside,_ I sent.

_But Cas-_

_NOW._

That one word was spoken with so much volume that he clutched his head from the pain. He wrenched Sam off of my fallen brother and hauled the tall hunter out the door. The house was shaking from the effort of containing so much raw power. Most of that power was coming from my newly strengthened grace. I'd been well on my way to becoming an archangel for quite awhile, but I was finally fully transformed. My archangel's blade was held tightly between my fingers.

Michael made to transport out, but he didn't stand a chance. He'd hurt my brother. He was going to pay. I held my hand up and closed my eyes, and when I ever so slowly brought my hand down, everything seemed to happen at once. Gabriel folded himself protectively in his wings to shield his eyes from the blinding light, Michael's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and a blast of pure white light exploded through the room.

The glass filling the windows (which had been replaced since they'd been blown out almost three decades ago) again shattered. I didn't even notice the pain as several shards tore into my skin. The wounds healed within milliseconds. My wings drew closer to me in a naturally defensive motion as the entire house lit up with the blow. Gabriel was peering out from between his wings.

Finally, the light was gone. And so was Michael. It was over. The massive amount of adrenaline that had been fueling me faded and left me to collapse. I would have been a fallen heap on the ground had Gabriel not moved fast enough to catch me. He laid a gentle hand on my bare chest and suddenly I was wearing whole, non-shredded clothes. I gave him a grateful look but couldn't offer him anything more.

He knew without having to ask what the angels had done to me. He could feel my corrupted, damaged grace. I leant forward, seeking the comfort of my brother's embrace. His arms closed around me without a second of hesitation. Sam and Dean wandered back into the wrecked house and the latter knelt by my side. He reached for me, but I pulled myself closer to Gabriel. Dean had hit me. Perhaps he would even do what the angels had done to me. I was done placing blind trust in anyone. As of currently, my faith was with Gabriel and Gabriel alone.

"We're going to head back to Bobby's. I'll, um, see you later," Sam said to Gabriel. The younger Winchester seemed to understand that I didn't want to be around anyone but my brother right now.

I felt Gabriel nod, and then they left. It could have been minutes or hours that I spent in the confines of my brother's arms. My body was hurt and torn, my mind was contaminated with vile memories, but with Gabriel I felt safe. His massive wings folded around me, a solid mass of warmth and protection. Fingers gently combed through my hair. Eventually, I was pulled down into sleep, rewarding me with blissful unawareness.

* * *

"_Is he going to be okay?" asked a voice._

_The voice that replied was flat and cold. Gabriel's voice. "He was _raped_, for Dad's sake. What do you think?" _

_A third, more sympathetic voice added, "Can we see him?" This voice belonged to Sam._

"_No." The reply came very quickly from Gabriel. "Dean, you hit him. He's scared of you. Sam, he likes you, but I'm the only one he trusts right now." There was no gloating in the words, only honesty. _

I was only half conscious, barely understand their words. My entire body ached. It felt worst below the waist for obvious reasons. My skin was clean, as were my clothes, but I felt filthy. No amount of human cleanliness could erase the taint I would forever hold. My rapists were dead, and so was Michael, but that didn't make it any better. Being an archangel should have brought me reassurance, yet all I could do was lie there and attune myself to the conversation.

"_Is there anything we can do to help?" It was Dean's voice. I recognized it._

_I heard a bitter scoff. "Why do you even care? Last I checked you were acting like a pissy three year old and blaming my brother for something that happened when he was a kid!"_

"_I'm not pissed about what happened you douche, I'm pissed that both of you lied."_

My mind registered the offensive term against my brother. I opened my eyes and saw the three of them standing at the end of the bed I was laid out on, and a beautiful woman sat in a chair next to me. She had long blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, and a surprisingly warm smile waiting for me when I looked over at her.

It was Mary Winchester.

Worried that the smile was misleading and she was furious with me, I moved away from her, almost falling off the side of the bed. Gabriel came over and gently laid me back in my original position. Both him and Mary gave me reassuring smiles. I was still weak from what the angels had done to me, too weak to protest when Mary gently pushed a lock of hair from my eyes.

"Castiel, you poor thing…" she whispered. It was not mocking. It was sincere.

"Had I been able to save your husband," I started, my voice even rougher than usual.

"Shh," she cut me off softly. "It isn't your fault, Castiel. You were just a child, and I am so sorry those angels did this to you."

I blinked, confused. "Why are you being so kind to me?"

"Because you are not to blame. And my pigheaded sons need to realize that." She said the end of the sentence rather loudly.

"They have every right to be angered. I should have told them."

Shaking her head, she sat on the edge of the bed and took one of my hands in both of hers. Gabriel was my older brother and sometimes my surrogate father, Jo had become a sister, and Ash was more like a cousin, but I had never felt as if I had a mother figure before. Yet against all odds Mary was treating me like she would one of her own children.

"There are some people here that want to see you," she said.

On cue, Jo, Ash, and Ellen came in. Jo looked like she'd been crying. I sputtered for breath when she wrapped me in a hug so tight that it restricted my breathing. Angels don't have to breathe, but it was a habit. Nonetheless, I hugged her back just as tightly. Ellen gave me a brief hug once her daughter released me. Ash went to rest a hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away. I couldn't stand for another male to touch me unless it was Gabriel.

The obvious worry on Gabriel, Ellen, Mary, Jo, and Ash's faces made me realize just how much my small family had grown. Even Bobby came in and looked a little choked up when he saw my presumably vacant expression. Apparently they all knew what had happened.

"Let's give Castiel and Gabriel some space, we'll all visit our angel later," Mary said, herding everyone out and smiling at me when I gave her a thankful look.

The thankfulness was both for giving my brother and me some space, as well as referring to me as "their angel." It was a small but meaningful term of endearment. Knowing I wanted nothing more than for him to simply be there, Gabriel came and laid down next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and fell asleep again within only a few moments.

"_Heaven's gates won't open up for me_

_With these broken wings I'm fallin'."_


	26. Will You Stick With Me Through Whatever

***Lyrics from Say Okay by Vanessa Anne Hudgens. I hate the singer, but the lyrics worked. Dedicated to votesaxon because she reviewed with the McDonald's song :D**

"_You are fine, you are sweet_

_But I'm still a bit naive with my heart_

_When you're close I don't breathe_

_I can't find the words to speak."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

I was sitting on Bobby's couch, flipping through TV channels, when a certain archangel tiredly flopped down next to me. We both remained silent. Surprisingly, in spite of how tense things had been lately, it was a companionable silence. What had happened to Castiel had eased the anger of the lies. It was hard to be angry at Gabriel when he was driving himself insane with worry over his brother.

"Sammy, I don't know what to do," he finally admitted quietly. "I'm the only male that can touch him, he has nightmares that I can barely keep at bay, sometimes he wakes up broken out in sweats…I don't know how to help him."

"I wish I could help…"

He smiled wanly. "I know. That's exactly why you get to deal with my whiny ass. You'll listen."

"You're not whining, you're worried about your brother. There's a difference."

I felt pressure against my side, and looked down to see he'd rested his head on my shoulder. Instead of pushing him away, I reached up and gently ran my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. I may never trust him as completely as I used to, but I didn't hate him. I wasn't even really all that mad at him anymore. Cas' rape had pretty much drained the anger out of everyone.

"Doctor Who? Seriously, Sammy?" he laughed when he saw what I'd turned on.

"Guilty pleasure, okay? Besides, this episode is one of my favorites." It was true. The Last of The Time Lords was one of the most heartbreaking ones they ever filmed.

He went quiet and let me enjoy the show Dean always mocked me for liking. I wasn't exactly a fan, it was just something I enjoyed watching whenever I found a rerun. Mainly just the ones with David Tennant; he was the best Doctor in my opinion. I explained all this to Gabriel during commercials. By the time it reached the scene where The Master dies in The Doctor's arms, I had the archangel hooked.

"See? Told you it was good!" I grinned.

"You didn't tell me it was so sad," he replied with a pout.

"It's not always sad, actually it's pretty funny most of the time."

As if on cue, Dean walked in. "You're making Gabriel watch Doctor Who? C'mon man, that's your nerdy fetish, not his."

I smiled triumphantly. "Actually, he likes it."

"Great, another geek. Just what we needed."

Gabriel sighed, becoming serious again. "I'm going to go upstairs and check on Cas. He refuses to get out of bed."

I nodded, and he disappeared upstairs. Though it had been brief, and mostly silent, I was glad that I'd been able to offer him a small escape for just a little while. It had been three days since Cas' rape and it hadn't gotten any easier. I turned the TV off and leaned my head against the back of the couch. How had things gotten this bad? It hadn't been that long ago that we'd all four been hunting and been just fine. Now everything had gone to hell. No pun intended.

Michael was dead, meaning Gabriel and Castiel were finally free, but it wasn't worth the aftermath. Castiel would never be the same. Dean would never admit it, but Cas fearing him was killing my brother. Neither of us could try to touch Cas without the angel -archangel, now - drawing away from us. He was damaged quite possibly beyond repair.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Mom, who was sitting at the table. "Hey. I, um, need some advice."

"Of course, what is it?"

"It's about Gabriel." She waited, so I continued. "I love him, Mom. And I know he lied, but it wasn't his fault Dad got killed. He didn't know that would happen. Does it make me a horrible person that I forgive him?"

She took my hand on the table. "Baby, you can't be expected to hold a grudge for the rest of your life, and no one wants you to. You've been miserable without him, and he needs you right now."

I nodded, grateful for her understanding. "What are we going to do about Cas?"

"He needs time to heal. The only thing we can do is be there for him as much as we can."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Understanding."

"Actually, I should be thanking you. I never thought you boys would stop acting like sawed off three year olds and realize that it wasn't those poor angel's faults."

She squeezed my hand before letting go, and I got to my feet. I had an archangel to apologize to.

"_When it's not alright, when it's not okay_

_Will you try to make me feel better_

_Will you say alright? Will you say okay?_

_Will you stick with me through whatever?"_


	27. These Hands That Are Holding You

**Author's Note:**

**Dedicated to the-ice-cold-alchemist for her constant and awesome reviews :D **

**I am sorry if the Destiel/Sabriel seems too rushed after the fight and Cas getting all messed up, but I didn't want to drag it out for too long, so this chapter is nothing but sappy Destiel fluff. I don't watch the show Skins, but I saw a clip of it online that inspired a scene I wrote. The lyrics are from By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North, which is my musical inspiration for the chapter. I think it describes Destiel brilliantly.**

* * *

"_Why are you striving these days?_

_Why are you trying to earn grace?_

_Why are you crying?_

_Let me lift up your face, just don't turn away."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

Sam had come ask Gabriel for a few moments alone, and they had disappeared, so I was alone in the bedroom that had been dubbed Cas'. He was sound asleep but I wanted to be here in case he showed signs of having a nightmare. Gabriel was the only person that he wanted anywhere near him, but I wasn't going to risk leaving my angel -well, he used to be my angel - vulnerable to the gruesome nightmares that had been plaguing him for three days since the rape.

As expected, he started jerking in his sleep, whimpering and curling in on himself. I leapt up from my chair and shook him awake. Probably thinking I was Gabriel, he tugged me down next to him without even opening his eyes. I obliged and felt a pang of hurt when he realized it was me and drew back. He looked afraid. That alone broke my heart.

"Cas, I would never hurt you," I whispered.

His voice was flat and emotionless. "You already did once. There is nothing stopping you from doing so again. Where is my brother?"

"He's outside talking with Sam," I sighed, returning to my chair to give him some space.

He nodded and closed his eyes. It seemed like he never got out of bed anymore. I walked over and crouched down next to him, but he shrunk away. I didn't relent. Instead, I reached out and gently touched his face. I felt him tense under my hand, as if in fear I was going to hurt him, but I stroked his cheek with my thumb. It was a chick flick moment that I would deny up one side and down the other if it was ever mentioned.

"Dean…" he started.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything."

He closed his eyes again and allowed me to stroke his face. His hands were clenched nervously at his sides, but this was the start of something. It gave me a small hope that maybe one day he would trust me again. Perhaps our soul mate bond was strong enough to keep him from fearing me for the rest of his life. Seeing him so broken and defeated drained away the last dregs of anger that had been lurking in me.

_*The Next Morning*_

When I woke up, I discovered two things: I was still sitting next to the bed with my head laid on the edge of it, and a note was next to my face. Cas was awake and watching me. He was probably scared I was going to hurt him while he slept. A guilt so strong that it shouldn't have a right to exist welled up in me, threatening to swallow me whole. I smothered the intense wave of emotion and unfolded the note.

_You two look pretty cozy, so I'm gonna go have some make-up sex with your little brother. See ya later! -Gabriel_

Awesome. I could have went my entire life without that not-so-charming mental image. Signing, I crumbled the note up and threw it in the trashcan. Cas continued watching my every movement. After several moments of watching me, he turned over and went back to sleep. It was pretty much all he did anymore. The rape had damaged his grace to the point of keeping him exhausted on a near constant basis, or at least that's what Gabriel had told me a couple of days ago.

Ignoring the way he looked almost terrified when I did so, I scooped the tired archangel up in my arms and carried him into the adjoined bathroom. I sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, using one hand to keep him steady and the other to plug it up and start running water. He was now standing on his feet, and I gently slipped his coat from his shoulders. That was stupid on my part. The minute I got near his clothes, he shrunk back against the wall.

Hell, I'd already scared him, so I might as well do what I'd been longing to ever since our first fight. I kissed him. He stiffened and tried to pull away, but I placed a hand on the back of his neck. His entire body was taut as a wire for several moments before he relaxed. Then he did something that really and truly surprised me.

He kissed me back.

It was soft and tender… and it was perfect. We kissed for several long, beautiful moments before pulling away and resting our foreheads against each other's. I couldn't resist stealing one more kiss. He allowed me to. This time, when I unbuttoned his shirt, he let me pull it off his shoulders and slide it down his arms.

He let me undress him and carefully lower him down into the hot water. I got on my knees next to the porcelain bathtub and turned the water off, slowly wetting his hair before starting to run my fingers through it. The tension was draining from him as I expertly washed his hair and then rinsed it without getting a single drop of water in his eyes. Even though he was naked, it wasn't awkward. Seeing him trust me again filled me with a dizzying elation.

Still soaked, he turned and leaned up for a kiss. I couldn't have been more happy to wrap him in an embrace and brush my lips over his. It was the same tender kiss we'd shared moments ago. I could still feel fear through our bond, but it was no longer fear for me. He was slowly starting to associate me with love and protection, not a threat. Three days after his body had been tortured, he was allowing me to hold him, to kiss him. If that wasn't love then I didn't know what was.

My voice was thick with emotion as I choked out, "Cas, I love you."

"I love you too, Dean."

We pulled back from our kiss and he rested his head against my chest. I could feel his love for me, he could feel my love for him, and it streamed back and forth in a passionate cycle between our minds. Our hearts, even. I could feel his love right down to my very core. To my soul.

I lifted him out of the water and ran a towel over his skin until he was dry, careful to avoid sensitive areas. The corrupted grace that had been keeping him so tired was growing brighter; I could tell from the mental link. It seemed to be a result of him finally trusting me again.

He snapped his fingers and his clothes were back on. I expected him to wander back into the bedroom, but he stepped into my arms. He traced meaningless patterns on my chest as if he was searching for words. Seeing Cas at a loss for words wasn't something I was used to. It was a few minutes before he spoke.

"Dean, I want you to-"

He was cut off by hysterical laughter and wolf-whistling coming from downstairs. I silently cursed whoever it was that had that dreadful of timing. It seemed like he and I were constantly being interrupted. We shared a mutually exasperated look before going downstairs to see what had caused the commotion. I released him from my arms, but he grasped my hand tightly even as we walked down the rickety wooden stairs.

"'_Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall_

_In the dead of night whenever you call_

_And please don't fight these hands that are holding you_

_My hands are holding you."_


	28. So You Can Make Me Whole

**Author's Note:**

**Greetings, my lovelies! Warnings: Cussing and some mild sexual content, but nothing graphic! This fic only has two more chapters left after this one, so if there is anything any of you would like to see before it ends, now is the time to let me know :-)**** Lyrics from Pieces by Red.**

* * *

"_I'm here again, a thousand miles away from you_

_A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am_

_I tried so hard, thought I could do this on my own_

_I've lost so much along the way."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

Dean and I followed the sounds to the living room, where everyone was playfully whistling at Ellen. She wore a tight black dress that came to just above the knee, and her hair was swept up into a loose, strategically messy bun. She was even wearing makeup, along with high black heels. Jo smiled and snapped a picture. Ellen looked beautiful.

"Whose the lucky fella?" Dean joked.

"Mind your business, boy," Bobby said, coming in from the other room. He stopped dead the moment he laid eyes on Ellen.

He cleared his throat. "Well, don't you look…"

"Ridiculous? Yeah, tell me about it. Actually, if you say one word about it I'm chopping your nuts off with my high heel."

Dean doubled over laughing, choking out a few words in between the fits. "You...and…Bobby…seriously?" was all he managed.

"You look lovely, Miss Harvelle," I said politely.

Ellen gave me a thankful smile. "See, Dean? This is how a man is supposed to act."

Bobby sighed, and for the first time I realized he was somewhat dressed up. Well, dressed up by his standards. He wore a pair of blue jeans and a button down shirt, both which appeared to be new. I looked between them and for the first time in just over three days, I smiled. He had finally asked her on a date.

"It's about time you started smiling again," Dean, who had recovered from his hysterics, said.

"Well boys, don't do anything I wouldn't do," Ellen said as she took Bobby's arm.

Jo grinned. "That's not saying much."

Ellen scowled over her shoulder as Bobby led her out the door, but Jo only laughed and proceeded to come over and ruffle my hair. She always did that because she knew I disliked it when my hair got in my eyes. Dean brushed the loose strands away, and I shot a mockingly angry glare at Jo. There was no doubt she was my surrogate sister. Ash walked over and ruffled her hair _and_ my hair. We gave him identical looks of exasperation. Having another male with close proximity still made me nervous, but Dean was right next to me, so I didn't flinch away from Ash's friendly contact like I usually would.

Everyone soon returned to their usual activities, and Gabriel hadn't left Sam's room for hours (something I most definitely wasn't going to investigate, especially since the whipped cream was missing from the refrigerator), so I took Dean's hand and pulled him along behind me as I went back up to my room. I still had something I wanted to ask of him.

"What's up?" he asked.

I sat down on the bed and motioned for him to place himself next to me. He came over and sat close, tentatively laying a hand on my knee. My heart skipped a beat, but not with fear. I took his hand in my own and ran it up and down my thigh. He met my gaze questioningly but didn't pull his hand away.

"Dean," I started, leaning forward into his personal space, "when those angels raped me…I never thought I would let someone touch me again. Every time I try to let my body relax around someone, all I can think about is how they touched me. Then I realized you were still there for me."

"Of course I'm here for you. That's a given."

"I didn't think you would want me anymore. I'm tainted, I'm damaged," I said quietly.

He stared at me in shock. "You've been closing me off for three days because you thought I didn't _want you _anymore?"

I stared at the floor. "Yes."

"I thought it was because you didn't want anyone but Gabriel touching you…"

"The morning after the rape, I knew there were two people I would let touch me. My brother…and my soulmate. But I thought I would disgust you."

He leaned forward and kissed me passionately with a force I'd never felt before. He ravenously licked and nipped at my throat, speaking against my skin. "I could never not want you." I clutched at the back of his shirt as he lightly grazed my neck with his teeth. It didn't elicit the spark of fear I thought it would. Suddenly he pulled back. "I'm sorry, I know I don't need to be-"

I cut him off by continuing to run his hand up and down my thigh. "The first time my body was touched intimately, it was against my will. There was no pleasure, no love. I want to know how it feels to be _with_ someone." I swallowed nervously before gathering my courage and staring into his eyes. "I want you… to make love to me."

He stroked the side of my face, desire and love in his eyes. "I can't believe I haven't thrown you down and fucked you six ways from Sunday by now," and desire shot through me at the crude words, "but I don't want to take advantage of you. You have to be sure about this."

My only reply was to guide his hand further up my leg. Every emotion but lust disappeared from his eyes as he knocked me onto my back and fell on top of me. He desperately clawed at my clothes. My legs came up to wrap around his waist, and he hastily jerked my shirt open. Perhaps the rough movements should have brought back painful memories, but it was _Dean_. All former fear of him was nonexistent.

I pulled his shirt over his head and unsnapped the button of his jeans, making quick work of unzipping them and untangling myself from him long enough to push them off. He breathed something that sounded vaguely like "You are wearing way too many damn clothes right now" and quickly remedied that issue. Our clothes were strewn all over the room in a matter of seconds.

He reached over and turned the lamp off, and I tried to repress the secret thrill of doing, well, _this -_ in the dark. Very little light came through the curtains. I wrapped myself around him as fully as possible; my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. His naked flesh pressed against mine…and I froze.

_My eyes squeezed shut as something forced its way into me, the pain so fierce it was as if my body was being torn limb from limb…oh Father, it hurt… I cursed myself for my weakness as tears welled up in my eyes…_

I gasped as the memory faded. Dean wrapped his arms around me and kissed me reassuringly. The gentle kiss reminded me that this wasn't rape, wasn't the harsh fucking I had endured; it was lovemaking. The scars marring my grace faded into nothingness as both my body and heart were filled until I couldn't take it anymore. My mind was soaring so high that I couldn't even identify what was happening, but whatever it was…it was beautiful.

For many years I have had wings, but until that moment, I realized I had never truly known what it was like to fly.

"_Then I see your face, I know I'm finally yours_

_I find everything I thought I lost before_

_You call my name_

_I come to you in pieces_

_So you can make me whole."_


	29. I Can Break The Chains That Bind You

**Author's Note:**

**One more chapter to go! I dedicate this one to XspriteyX, who is not only writing a Primeval/SPN crossover (EEK!) but also helped me with a certain amulet idea! You'll understand once you read. I'm not sure exactly what day it should be by now, but for the sake of the chapter I am going to say Febuary 14th. I was going to post this yesterday but for some reason ff hasn't been letting me log in until now :/ Anyways, lyrics are from Family Tree by Matthew Perryman.**

**I can't thank you all enough for your continued support! Love all of you :D**

* * *

"_You are loved, you are loved_

_And I will restore_

_All that was broken_

_You are loved, you are loved."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

When I woke up the next morning, I was filled with a contentment that I'd felt since…never. It was the first time I'd experienced something so utterly peaceful. The archangel in my arms was sleeping soundly. Last night had been free of nightmares. Once, I'd woken him up to check on him because it was so unlike him not to have bad dreams, but he'd smiled serenely and said the nearness of his soul mate was keeping the nightmares at bay. He'd then fallen back asleep.

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was just after seven in the morning. Ugh. Too early to be conscious. I wanted to go downstairs and hunt down some coffee, but I was reluctant to disturb Cas. He hadn't looked this placid since before the rape. I was still debating between waiting for him to get up and going downstairs in search of coffee when his eyes fluttered open.

I grinned jokingly. "Mornin' gorgeous."

He yawned and snuggled closer. His hair was sticking up in all odd directions, his eyes were sleepily unfocused…damn, he was beautiful. I silently cursed him for turning me into such a complete girl. Which reminded me what day it was. Grinning, I leapt out of bed and left a disgruntled archangel glaring up at me from under locks of messy hair. I pulled clothes on and went downstairs, leaving him to stare after me confusedly.

I was in the kitchen when Sam stumbled down, and I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Sammy, why are you walking funny?" Then I remembered that he'd been locked in his room with Gabriel for two days. "You know what, forget I asked."

"So, how's Cas?"

"Better."

Gabriel slid down the banister and bounded into the kitchen with a huge smile. "Sounds like you two had fun last night! I didn't know my little bro was such a screamer."

Bobby, Ellen, Mom, Sam, Ash, and Jo, all who were in the room or nearby, turned to stare at me. An embarrassingly deep flush worked its way up into my face. Okay, so Cas hadn't been the only one screaming, not that I'd admit it. I coughed awkwardly and went back upstairs.

After all the chaos, everyone had seemingly forgotten about something. It was Valentine's Day. And yes, it was a total girly thing to do, but I had a gift for Cas. It wasn't much but with any luck, he wouldn't hate it.

A smile tugged at my lips when I heard Cas singing in the shower. Could he _get_ any more adorable? Hmm...nope, it wasn't possible. I flopped down onto the bed and listened to his gruff but beautiful voice. It was "You and Me" by Lifehouse, one of Sam's favorite songs.

He came out wrapped in nothing but a towel, and I looked him up and down. He didn't miss the scrutiny and shifted nervously. Technically he could just snap and be dry and dressed, but the angels had gotten in the habit of doing things the human way. Not that I was complaining, because hey, Cas was walking around half naked. What was there to possibly complain about?

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey Cas. So, do you know what day it is?"

The patented head tilt. "Tuesday?"

"It's not just any Tuesday."

He got dressed (too confused to notice that I licked my lips when he removed the towel) and brooded. Then he walked over to the dresser and leaned against it. I stared at him expectantly.

He sighed. "I am aware it is a certain holiday, but you hardly seem the type to enjoy such festivities. Besides Valentine's Day-"

"Actually, that's what I've been getting at. I have you a little something."

He tried and failed to hide a smile. "I got you something too, but I was worried you would find celebrating the holiday unnecessary."

"Well I'm just full of surprises," I joked.

I got up and walked over, placing myself directly in front of him. "Close your eyes."

He obeyed, and I reached for the amulet around my neck. I'd never imagined taking it off, let alone giving it to someone else, but it felt right. I put it in his hand and curled his fingers around it, telling him he could open his eyes. His entire face lit up when he looked down and saw what was in his hands.

"Dean…are you sure?"

I smiled and took it from him, only to put it around his neck. "If I wasn't sure then I wouldn't have given it to you."

"Thank you…this means more to me than you could possibly imagine. My gift is nothing as incredible as this, but perhaps you can get some use out of it."

I leaned down and gave him a chaste kiss. "Whatever it is, I bet it's awesome."

He walked over to the closet and unburied a parcel that had been submerged under a pile of old boxes. Smiling shyly, he walked over and placed the lopsidedly wrapped gift in my hands. Like a child on Christmas morning, I eagerly unwrapped it to reveal it's contents. Cas watched me nervously as if thinking I wouldn't like what I found.

Turns out there was more than one thing in the box. One of the first ever Led Zeppelin CDs, a new leather jacket, oil for the Impala, and in the very bottom of the simple white box…a black feather. It was probably twelve inches long, glossy, and midnight black. I met Cas' eyes and he nodded to affirm my unspoken question.

"It is mine. An angel giving someone a feather from their wings is the highest possible form of commitment."

"It's beautiful…" I whispered.

He wrapped his fingers around the amulet and gave me a look so full of love and trust that it took my breath away. "Happy Valentine's Day."

* * *

"Dean, I want to talk to you for a minute," Mom said later when she came into the living room and saw me sprawled out on the couch with an armful of dozing archangel.

I gently slid Cas from my arms and followed her into the kitchen. She poked me hard in the chest and said, "Listen up. You're head over heels for Cas. I'm not blind. I want you to be happy, but if you shut him off because of something that isn't even his fault _ever_ again, I will castrate you with my grandmother's favorite silver. Understand?"

My mother had just given me the third degree about my boyfriend. I was so shocked I could only manage a "Um, yes ma'am, loud and clear."

"Good."

She went back to cooking a late snack, so I mulled over her words. She was right. I was head over heels for Cas. From the minute I'd seen those blue eyes, though it had taken me awhile to come to terms with it, I'd been doomed. It had been one hell of a journey, but he was worth every damn second of it. When I walked back into the living room, I saw Gabriel sitting on the edge of the couch, watching his brother sleep. Except for when Cas was with me, Gabriel no longer let him out of his sight. I couldn't blame him; I understood the protective older brother thing.

I came over and said, "You really do love Sam."

"With every inch of me that isn't devoted to loving Castiel," came his immediate reply.

There was really no denying it. Earlier, he'd given Sam the traditional flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day. Tucked within the flowers had been a single feather. There was no doubt in my mind that the feather belonged to Gabriel. I wasn't sure if Sam knew what that part of his gift meant, but judging from the way he'd stared at Gabriel for several long moments in shock, I assumed he did. Besides, Cas wouldn't be too happy if I avoided his big brother like the plague for the rest of my life.

"I still think you're a dick…but as long as you don't hurt my little brother, maybe I could learn to deal with you're sorry ass."

Knowing it was the closest thing he was ever going to get to a "welcome to the family," he grinned and said, "Right back at'cha, Dean-o."

"_Oh, this will be your legacy_

_This is will be your destiny_

_Yesterday did not define you_

_Oh, this will be your legacy_

_This will be your meant to be_

_I can break the chains that bind you."_


	30. Epilogue, Look I'm Still Around

**Author's Note:**

**Well here it is! I did a major fast forward; this epilogue is set ten years after chapter 29. I don't think I can properly thank all of you enough for your amazing reviews and support! All of you are so amazing, and maybe I will be seeing some of you again with my next fic, which is some Sabriel romance/humor/mpreg co-written by XspriteyX. My first attempt with mpreg, so wish me luck :D**

**Technically I could ramble on and on and on about how much I love you wonderful people, but I assume you're probably staring at the screen wondering when the hell I intend on shutting up, so I will take that assumption as my cue to can it and move on! Lyrics are from Fuckin Perfect by Pink.**

**Farewell for now!**

* * *

"_Made a wrong turn, once or twice _

_Dug my way out, blood and fire _

_Bad decisions, that's alright _

_Welcome to my silly life _

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood _

_Miss no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down _

_Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated_

_ Look I'm still around."_

Gabriel ducked out of the way of the blow, but a foot caught his ankle and had him sprawling to the ground. He rolled out of the way before he could be pinned down. Back on his feet, he flipped his opponent to the ground, only to fall off due to the knee that had hit his Happy Place. Ow.

The other angel was gaining confidence, meaning he would get sloppy soon. Gabriel should have known better than to think that. After recovering from the pain in his genital area, he threw his opponent down and they grappled for dominance over the position. The skilled angel he was fighting regained the upper hand. Gabriel simply couldn't have that, now could he?

Gabriel put all of his strength into breaking the other angel's hold and pinning his enemy flat to the floor. With his entire weight put into it, he had the opponent trapped underneath him with no hope of escape. He smirked triumphantly. _Ha. That's what you get for messing with The Gabriel,_ he thought.

"You're getting rusty, little bro."

Castiel unexpectedly brought his foot up into Gabriel's back, and as soon as the latter jerked from the impact, he took advantage of the situation and rolled over on top of his brother. The younger archangel was a surprisingly good fighter that usually beat Gabriel in their hand-to-hand sparring matches.

Gabriel sighed and knew he'd lost this one. "Fine, fine, I take it back."

Cas got up and pulled his brother up with him. "Perhaps you shouldn't have taught me so well."

"Probably not," Gabriel laughed. "Well I'll leave you to go find Dean, I'm taking Sammy on a little romantic escapade." He accentuated the words with a suggestive wink.

"Let me guess. Brevard College campus, the rest of the night in an expensive hotel suite in Father-only-knows where, and breakfast in the morning?"

Gabriel sighed. "You know me too well."

"No, brother, you're just predictable."

Gabriel stuck his tongue out before disappearing. Cas stared the now empty space with a small smile. All these years later, he still didn't love his brother any less. They had their soul mates, but they'd never stopped spending time with each other. They'd found a healthy balance between the simple brotherly activities they loved and being with Sam and Dean. Castiel couldn't possibly be happier.

* * *

"I do not understand the purpose of this," Cas sighed.

"This is the closest thing you're ever going to get to a chick flick moment," Dean joked.

"What is a 'chick flick'? I do not understand why there would be a film about adolescent birds."

"Figure of speech, genius."

Castiel nodded and handed Dean the wrench he'd requested. They technically had a house of their own a few miles away, but they were currently over at Bobby's working on the Impala. Sometimes Dean would let Cas help him with his precious car. The angel had been outside with Dean for well over two hours, and his usually pristine clothes were marred with faint oil stains. Dean thought it was a good look on him.

"What is wrong with it?" Cas asked, looking down at the Impala.

Dean shrugged. "Nothin', this is just a routine tune-up."

Cas nodded and handed Dean whatever he asked for, not interrupting or complaining. Finally, they were done and took a seat on the now closed hood. Dean sighed contently and leaned back against the glass, taking his angel's hand. They peacefully sat side by side for a few moments before Dean leaned over and kissed Cas softly.

Having never gotten any less desiring of Dean's affections, the angel-turned-archangel kissed back with vigor. Dean playfully mumbled something about Cas being a minx (a reference the angel did not understand in the slightest) before deepening the kiss. He curled his fingers around Castiel's tie to pull him closer.

Once the kiss went from deep to outright sexual, Cas pulled away and breathed, "We should go inside…you once told me we are not allowed to fornicate on your car…"

"Dude, it's sex. You don't have to get all formal," Dean chuckled. "And you're right, I don't want my car to smell like sex. Sammy would never let me live it down."

In the blink of an eye, they were on the bed. Ten years later, every time still felt like the first time to Cas. Well, the first time, but without the flashbacks that had frozen him the first few times they'd made love. Now the rape was nothing but a painful but distant memory. No one had been sure if he would ever recover, but with the help of Dean, Gabriel, and the rest of his family - he was good as new.

* * *

"Gabriel!" Sam squealed.

The archangel chased his human around the campus, finally tackling the hunter to the ground and tickling him until he screamed. The owners were doing renovations on Brevard College, so the students had been run off until they were through, and it was just after five in the evening so the work crews had gone home. It was only Sam and Gabriel.

"Fine, fine, I surrender!" Sam cried, which was the closest thing to begging for mercy that his dignity would allow.

Gabriel grinned and stretched out next to him, ceasing the tickle torture. The fading evening light cast shadows on Sam's handsome face. The angel stared unashamedly. This human, this beautiful human, belonged to _him_. To Gabriel and no one else. Absently, he wondered if Castiel had explained everything that those feathers were for to Dean.

They hadn't been lying when they'd told their boys that it was a form of commitment, but they'd left out the bit about the feathers being infused with their grace. Perhaps it was selfish of the two brothers to do what they'd done. The grace within the feathers would prevent the Winchesters from aging. Not just Sam and Dean…it was a domino effect.

Once Sam and Dean, both who would be immortal (not angelic, they just wouldn't age or be easily killed) got around the rest of their family enough, the people exposed would slowly start the transition as well. Gabriel had felt a guilt and pain so deep when he'd almost lost Cas that he couldn't bear to lose another family. It had taken awhile to convince his little brother of the plan.

The Winchester brothers had always hated the thought of being anything but human, but that was before they met their angelic soulmates. Even when they realized they weren't aging (_which by all means should be anytime now, _Gabriel thought. It had been almost a decade and they still looked the same as they did ten years ago) it wasn't like they would be upset. How could they possibly complain about having their loves and their family for the rest of time? No demons, no witchcraft, just a completely pure source keeping them alive. Bobby and Ellen, the latter's name now Ellen Singer, must have noticed the fact they weren't aging, but hadn't complained.

Almost as if Gabriel's thoughts had invited Sam to address the subject, Sam said, "So Dean and I were thinking about something a few weeks ago."

"What's that?"

"Dean is _forty_. He doesn't look a day over thirty."

Gabriel swallowed nervously but kept his game face on. "Looks like that anti aging cream I got him for Christmas last year works after all."

"Relax, Gabriel. I know what you and Cas did." Gabriel's eyes shot to Sam's, the latter's sparkling with amusement. "I just wanted to thank you. You gave me the three things I wanted to have forever. Three things that I couldn't possibly function without."

Relieved, he smiled and asked, "What are those three things?"

"My life."

Okay, understandable.

"My family."

Duh.

"And…you."

Not wanting to speak because it may give away the catch in his throat, Gabriel leaned up and kissed Sam. The late evening was slightly cool, so he used his powers to warm them up. Had it really been almost forty years since he'd met John Winchester? Since he'd found himself wandering through a grocery store in search of chocolate? Could it have possibly been almost four decades since Cas, with his bright blue eyes and trademarked head tilt, had made him breakfast in bed for the first time? He only smiled and drew himself closer to his Sasquatch human that for some reason, he'd come to love.

He had Sam, he had his baby brother, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket...Life was pretty amazing and looking pretty apt to stay that way.

"_Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel_

_Like you're less than fuckin' perfect_

_Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing _

_You're fuckin perfect to me."_


End file.
